Twenty-six reasons to doubt your girlfriend

Wake up after a sleep in. Bec has been up during the night with pain. I give her a fizzy tablet, and a few orgasms to keep her mind off it. She tries to ring her doctor. We have breakfast. She says now I remember what it is about you that I don’t like, and that worked to my advantage. OK. She leaves. The thing about this relationship is that it has so much potential for good, but it is being stifled by our own inability and unwillingness to make it work. We both resent each other that we have met each other before we have had a chance to do what we need to do.


For tea we have a family bbq to celebrate my 26th year on the planet. It is tasty, and I actually look my sister in the eye. I havent actually looked at her for a while and it is weird. She is doing better than me, and is well dressed for a change. Grampa rocks up. Bec couldn’t make it of course. I make a wish. I love doing this, because most times that I can remember they have come true. I won't post it because then it won't come true.

I am starting to feel very old.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I go and pick up Darren about midday. He accidentally breaks the fucking window in my car, and it won’t wind up. We go to the Bombay, and I have the Lamb Korma. It is big! And pretty good. I go home and file stuff at my house waiting for Bec to come around at 6pm. She is late. She gives me a piece of paper with a message and offers to take me out for tea.

I tell her I’m not that hungry after the big curry, but neither is she, so we raincheck. We go for a walk, and she is jumping around like a crazy little kid. When we gets there, she gets stomach pains and we have to walk straight home. We get home and crash straight away. Anyway, a pretty unspectacular day, but I guess it’s better than what could have been.

Lookout!

Yesterday after Bec left, I went to chinatown and enjoyed their fine food for $5.50. Too hot to do anything else. That night I got a txt from Bec with her new number at her uni housing. I give her a call and she is bored. I drive around to see her at her place. We get in her car and we go for a drive into the hills, and we park at the lookout. We watch the lights and talk about her trip. I tell her about what I have been doing, and for some reason, I tell her about the girl at work that I am friends with. I tell her that she made me a mix tape for xmas. I know, I know, I can hear your hoots of mockery from here. She got into this jealous pissed off rage thing and cried the rest of the night. We drove back and it was 3.30am. When I left her, she went to kiss me, but I couldn't kiss her, and avoided her eyes.

I was SO pissed off at her for her double standard. She has been away for 6 months doing what she wants, and I am not allowed to have a female friend at work?

Needless to say, I don't remember the drive home. Couldn’t sleep.

Re-establishing a connection

Well, Monday went OK. It was good to catch up with Bec after 6 months out of the country. She seemed pretty much changed by her whole experience, and I'm really happy for her. It's funny because she has been living with two English girls and has picked up some of their accent. We spent an awkward while with her showing me photos before I finally couldn't hold back any longer and sobbed on her shoulder. I asked if she would spend the night and she said that she'd brought her toothbrush just in case. A good sign, no?

Bec's return

Wake up with a start from my pissed slumber, 7.50! FUCK!! The mobile alarm didn’t go off. I am still pissed but have the presence of mind to brush my teeth etc. and put on the brown shirt and washed jeans. It is 8.20 before I get to the airport, and nearly turn around and leave, but something makes me keep going. I am thinking about what will happen if she has already left, and am sure that she will be pissed off with me. Anyway, do a lap of the carpark, and find a park a long way away. I walk toward the terminal, and a bunch of people are leaving. I see Bec and her Dad and sister. She looks different, with short strawberry blonde hair, and she is more solid. She looks good, wearing her wrap around pants. She looks at me with that piercing look and it feels entrancing. I still feel something, and I think she does too. It feels good to finally hug her. She is pushing her wagon with her backpack. I mumble something about being sorry for being late, but it falls on deaf ears. She shows me her newly pierced ears. I don’t really know what is happening and I can’t remember what happened. Neither her Dad or her sister spoke to me but that is cool, that's just their way. I’m not sure if they were waiting for me. Probably not but? At the car, her Dad opened the hatch, I lifted her bag in for her. As she was getting in the car, she asks me if I’m still free for tomorrow night. I say yeah how about 5.30. she says that’s not night time, and I say ok whenever. What the? Anyway it feels good, and I walk away. I have to go and see the planes, and the sun is beautiful. I go home and try to sleep but can’t so I get the paper and a vilis pasty and mocha. Then I go for a drive to the beach at semaphore to read the paper. There are some young cuties in a Laser, and I look. Beautiful day with cool soft breeze, and I enjoy my car even though the engine is Fucked…… listen to some mix tapes. Feel really good for a change. Well I guess I’ll see what happens tomorrow. After I write this, Mum takes me to the Showdown Ansett cup thing with Uncle David. There is a big lineup out the front. Is fun, but footy is a lot better live than the bullshit on tv.

Dedicated to Gemma.....

Alright folks, here it is.... My first cautious steps into the world of blog. I have to thank Gemma for the idea, her blog has been a sorely needed source of inspiration for me over the past few months. I think that I need some form of creative outlet, and this blog will be just what I need.

More shall be revealed in the fullness of time,.....