Dreams Are Free, Motherfucker!

The world from my hotel room - Part 5 - Portoroz

2007-08-21T20:27:00.001+09:30

The world from my hotel room - Pt4 - Surfers Paradise

2007-06-02T09:51:00.000+09:30

The world from my hotel room Pt3 - Frankfurt

2007-05-13T10:56:00.000+09:30

The world from my hotel room - Part 2 - Hong Kong

2007-05-03T20:49:00.000+09:30

The world from my hotel room Pt 1 - Chicago

2007-01-10T23:17:00.000+10:30

I'm the same ghost I was before

2006-08-20T16:32:00.000+09:30

But I still converse with the spirits
When people talk I dont hear it
I walk through doors when no one sees me
I disappear, I disappear, disappear
Whenever it may please me

-Oingo Boingo -

Wow, who knew that Oingo Boingo wrote the coolest music in the world?

The last two weekends have been great! Almost Adelaide-esque from a weather point of view. There is a latent warmth in the air that has thawed me out of my winter malaise. I even went for a jog on the beach this afternoon!

During the course of my work with Groove Terminator Laboratories Pty Ltd, I would say that things have been pretty good.

There was a great learning curve at the beginning, what with learning to use new software, and getting used to working in a professional environment. It was exciting to actually have money, and be able to buy things and do things without having to worry about where the next cheque would be coming from. I got along with everybody (the exception being Horsey-girl, but we've settled for a dignified aloofness). I could basically slip my headphones on, get wired for sound, and work away by myself for a good 8 (or 12) hours before going home.

The work hours were very flexible, and everybody knew their place. Things were running like a well lubricated machine. Of course there would be a minor misfire occasionally if somebody raised the ire of Horsey-girl, but we would all run for cover neath our headphones if she was in a foul mood.

Things changed immeasurably about 3 months ago when a new girl Nikki started on our team. I suppose you could say that I work in a male-dominated industry, so adding another girl to the team would inevitably change the dynamic.

And how! Barely 23 yo, and 5'5 of dynamite. She isn't exactly hot in the traditional sense, but she was definitely cute and certainly made better scenery than the Horsey-girl.
The thing with Nikki is not about her looks at all. She has this omnipresence.

Within the first day of work, she had sensed the tension in our room, and cut through all the carefully constructed webs that held our little office together. She had put Horsey-girl in her place by sticking up for someone that was copping the brunt of another misdirected tirade. And had been propositioned by at least two male colleagues.

She makes me coffee every morning, just the way I like it, and her big brown eyes twinkle with mischief as she makes paper hats for everyone in the office whilst singing "hoed von papier" or somesuch in her delectable dialect. So how can I not be intrigued and entranced by this girl? I found her to be friendly, enthusiastic, and quite unique. She's just my type.

And as fate would have it, we were paired up to work together on a few projects. She invited me to her house. I've had breakfast with her and her parents. We kind of bonded a bit. We discussed her recent ex-boyfriend. I took her out for a coffee one morning when I came in and found her dissolved in tears at her desk.

However, just lately, we've kind of drifted apart. Possibly due to the on-off nature of her relationship (they're still best friends, and go motorbike riding every weekend). Possibly due to her Aquarian genotype which makes her a free-spirit never to be owned or possessed.

The thing is now that work is 'really great', although not for the same reasons. I spend a lot more time just hanging around the coffee machine talking with her than actually doing anything productive.

So now that work has become less stimulating mentally, yet somewhat more stimulating in other ways, I find myself not wanting to leave. Despite my better judgement telling me otherwise.

And then there's Amanda in accounts, but that's a story for another time...

Zing...

2006-08-04T23:26:00.000+09:30

I'm blogging from my bed,... and I love it...

Say hello to my newest toy.

A glistening sparkling new Compaq Presario V5000.

I won't bore you with all the specs suffice to say that it has a 15" widescreen (sorry boys, size does matter), and has not one but two cores for running Vista when it hits our sunny shores sometime in the next century.

There is a Gig of RAM under the hood, and a 5 in 1 card reader.

However it couldn't read my library card or my 'breast inspector' card, so I'm thinking of taking it back to the dealer...

Thankyou, I'll be here every Wednesday...

The little Red Hen that could..

2006-08-02T22:38:00.000+09:30

The thing about my line of work is that you end up becoming a train-spotter.

It's just one of the pitfalls of the job.

So imagine my surprise when I came upon this familiar looking feline in a rail yard in the tiny township of Koromburra, in the picturesque Gippsland region.

Its a restored 300-series Red-Hen train! Not to be mistaken, of course, for the 400-series which had a drivers compartment at each end. It's the very same as the one I used to catch to school each morning when I lived in Adelaide.

The great thing about these old rattlers was that the doors were opened and closed manually. And all the tough teenagers (like me) would all sit by the door with their heels jammed in the door sill, keeping them open to allow ventilation for their ciggarettes. Apparently some smart Alex felt that this was 'unsafe', and sadly the trains were decommissioned in 1996. Many of these fine steeds were scrapped for junk metal. Wistful sigh.

I can still smell the heady mixture of diesel fumes and asbestos brake pads...

For those people that don't have handy access to Victoria or $380, and would like to drive one, there is a simulator here...

I mentioned to my rather attractive Dutch work colleague for whom I have hots that it would make an excellent outing for a date. They even throw in a free lunch! She shook her head and replied that if anyone took her on a date to a train-ride she would dump them straight away.

Feisty. I like that in a woman.

For more photos like the one that I stole, and a comprehensive history of this little slice of heaven, look here.

Mommy, the sky is falling.

2006-08-02T22:02:00.000+09:30

Eighty - six hours.

That's how many hours I worked last week.

8 - 6 h - o- u=r s!

It's like two regular weeks work crammed into the space of one. You really should try it sometime.

Apart from sleeping, that doesn't leave a lot of time for reclivity. Or anything else...

This week, my boss summoned me to his office. I have been expecting 'the talk' for some time now. Especially since two of my colleagues had mysteriously disappeared during one of my field trips. I thought that I would have to initiate it, but he beat me to it.

"Now as the project is nearing its final stages, their is a strong possibility that you (that means me) will be out of contract in the next three weeks."

"And it's sad that we had to let Mihail and Johnson go last week, but we don't have enough work going to keep you all on."

"And since I (the boss) will be taking a new position in sales, it will be up to the new project leaders to decide if they want to keep you on."

"Now, I don't want to see you go, but I want to see a lot more of you round the office. No more late shifts. We're part of a team you know."

"I just wanted to give you notice thats all, I didn't want to stuff you around."

OK.

I don't know what that was about. I haven't been officially given the sack. As far as I can tell... they were offering me a large brown bag with the word SACK written on it instead.

Methinks I should start looking for new work as a precautionary measure.

I get the feeling that my time is up.

The end of a fairy-tale

2006-06-27T14:01:00.000+09:30

"Keith, you stinking rotter. I can't believe you waited until our honeymoon to tell me you were a scientologist."

Milestones

2006-06-11T15:08:00.000+09:30

Call it a mid-twenties crisis or what you will, but I've been thinking a lot about my age of late.

It occurred to me that I am pretty much the same age as my old man when he tied the knot in 1974! It amazes me that my parents managed to stay together for 16 years. Although probably only half of that was actually a happy time I suspect.

Maybe it's my biological time clock ticking loudly in my ear, but I'm wondering a bit about that whole marriage/ partnership thing... doesn't seem relevant to me any more... I don't know if I'm cut out for it, at least. I spent the first 23 years of my life single. Had a few brief encounters, lived with a girlfriend for a year. It was good, but I like to do my own thing.

I went here to discover that I will be celebrating my 10,000th day on the planet on the 13th July 2006... I would imagine that the first 10000 days of your life are probabilly the best, right? I wonder about how many of them I've just wasted or overlooked?

I find it a little hard to comprehend that I've been here in Melbourne for a little over a year now. It hasn't been quite what I expected. A few things have happened that have made me stop and wonder what I'm doing here. And whether it's worth pursuing this little adventure. The winters here are biting and cold compared to what I'm accustomed. But then a few extra layers kind of fix that. I actually feel quite at home, but there is also enough going on that I don't feel any homesickness at all.

I've been back to Adelaide a few times though, and I must say I don't really identify with it any more. It feels so empty.

Working up to 60 hours a week at the moment, so there hasn't been a lot of time to sit back and smell the roses. My contract will be drawing to a close in the next few months, and there has not been any talk of being reinstated in any way. So I'm trying to earn as much as possible while I can to set myself up with a few things to make my life a little easier..

On the domestic front, my old work-chum Rebecca from Adelaide has moved in with me. She has been cleared of her cancer scare, although she still needs to go back to see her surgeon every few months for checkups. She's only 21 and quite naive, but we get along fairly well. We've split the house up so that I basically live upstairs and she downstairs. It's good to live in a place where you can pretty much do what you want, and we hang out occasionally getting a milkshake or something.

We are still in the process of setting up the house, and still waiting on the couch and fridge to be delivered which is frustrating but it will be good when its finally done.

I have broadband setup in the house now (yay!) so hopefully I will be able to get back to more regular posting. Or at least not have any excuse not to. I want to get myself a new laptop, camera and a few other bits and pieces so that if I do lose my job, I can at least spend a few months focussing on some long neglected hobbies.

So... how are you doin?.

If only you weren't spam...

2006-05-19T16:14:00.000+09:30

Date: Thursday 16th March

HEY LADS.

I AM A 18 YEAR OLD LADY WOMAN WHO IS VERY HOT. I AM A SIZE 4 IN AU AND I AM 5'13" TALL. MY SHOE SIZE IS 9 AND I LIKE TO WEAR OPEN TOE SHOES BECAUSE THEY ARE MORE COMFORTABLE. I HAVE BLUE EYES WITH SLIGHT FLECKS OF GOLDY GREEN IN THEM BUT THEY MAINLY LOOK BLUE. MY HAIR IS AUBURN WITH VERY SLIGHT HIGHLIGHTS OF LIGHTER AUBURN. MY HAIRSTYLE IS MEDIUM LENGTH, STRAIGHTISH AND LAYERED, I LIKE TO STYLE IT FEATHERY BY FLIPPING THE ENDS OF MY LAYERS OUTWARD. MY CLOTHING STYLE IS HIPPY CHIC SHABBY CHIC BOHO METRO CASH(CASUAL). I WEAR A SMALL AMOUNT OF JEWELERY INCLUDING 2 GOLD RINGS ONE IS A CLADDAH RING AND ONE IS A RUBY ENCRUSTED BAND. I ALSO WEAR A GOLD BRACELET AND GOLD NECKLACE WITH A HEART LOCKET ON IT.

I AM A RAW VEGAN AND PLAN TO BECOME A FRUITARIAN WHERE I WILL ONLY EAT FOODS THAT HAVE DIED ON THEIR OWN.

I WORK IN REAL ESTATE SELLING BARNS ONLY. I DO NOT SELL HOUSES BECAUSE THEY ARE ENVIRONEMNTALY UNFRIENDLY.

I AM A NON SMOKER AND DO NOT DRINK A SINGLE SHINY DROP OF ALCOHOL.

I HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS ESPECIALLY GIRLFRIENDS AND WE LOVE TO GO OUT CLUBBING AND EVERYTHING ALMOST EVERY NIGHT I LOVE TO GO SAILING AND BIKE RIDING AND HORSE RIDING AND ROLLER BLADING. I HAVE BACKPAIN BUT I MANAGE TO DO THESE THIGNS SOMETIMES.

I WOULDNT SAY I AM A LION WHEN IT COMES TO SEX DRIVE I AM MORE LIKE A TIRED ECHIDNA OR SLEEPY RAT BUT I DO OK.

HOLLA@ME HIT ME BAK IF U WANNA MEET UP FELLAZ

-------FROM EILEEN--------

Any Port in a storm?

2006-05-14T23:59:00.000+09:30

Has it been nearly a month since my last post? Wow...

It's time to get back on the horse.

For a while now, I've been trying really hard to swim upstream. Push myself to bigger and better things. It's been an interesting ride, but it's really not my natural state. I'm much more used to going with the flow.

Since we last spoke I have just kind of allowed things to happen. Se ra Se ra and all that. And I think that has been for my benefit. I've put on some weight, and I really do feel like a snake crawling into an old skin.

It's like I've been digging a tunnel, and then going round to the other side of the mountain, and meeting myself in the middle. Connecting with myself.

Once more to feel Destiny slide her loving and well lubricated hands along the length and girth of my inner resolve. And to bask in the radiance of one of Lady Luck's warm smiles.

My homelessness lasted a week. I was working long hours at the office, then going downstairs to the carpark to sleep in my car. However, I knew that somehow things would work out.

And so it is that I have a new residence, In Port of Melbourne.

A terrace house of my very own.

I have taken possession of the large master bedroom with balcony overlooking a little cafe. And windows that operate in both the open and closed positions. Outside the kitchen window is a small garden and courtyard. Neat.

Today I bought a new fridge, and a nice sofa for the sitting room, however it won't be ready for four weeks and so, it is a little empty at the moment.

Who knows, when I settle in, I might even take some photos. It's really quite nice and homely. Only a stones throw to the markets, and a hop, skip and jump to the beach. And all the facilities. And a 20 minute walk to work.

A rather odd place, this land of Port Melbourne. Without any of the hustle or bustle of Fitzroy, that I do sadly miss, and yet only a 5 minute journey to the city. It's like a land that time forgot. Not that it's a bad thing. But nobody knows where Port Melbourne is. Even long time Melbournites. St Kilda, Albert Park sure... but Port Melbourne? I didn't even know there was a Port Melbourne...

It will be fun to explore this new neighbourhood.

Behold... my third nipple

2006-04-18T17:11:00.000+09:30

For a while now, I have been toying with the idea of tearing down this blog.

Being over a year old now, (gah!) considerable amounts of two-fingered typing have gone into its construction. To delete it would be akin to cutting off a third nipple.

Like an extraneous part of me being severed, but one that is at present unsightly.

It's just that...

I don't feel that it truly captures the essence that is Adrian.

And that is not cool.

Not being a writer, or professing to have any consistent passion for writing (although I have my moments) I'd like to think that I am more interesting than my words make me out to be. It just feels like a ramshackle mixture of drear happenings and the odd vengeful spiteworthy poem.

Not the most enjoyable reading material I'm sure.

And my lack of http skills, access to peripherals, and general motivation to dress it up do not help matters (Not to mention time).

Of course there is the chance that I am just bland and insipid (Crickets chirp). And that this blog is a true and accurate representation of who I am and what I stand for (not much). Perhaps that is what I fear the most. What a harsh truth that would be.

Maybe, I'm just kidding myself, and getting all Self-important and serious. I do that too you know. And quite well.

I think actually that I'm just out of time like Sky Saxon. Miserable introversion is not cool at the moment like it was in the mid-nineties. You don't see Lindsay Lohan sitting in a library cutting her arms or fretting over existential dilemmas. Oh no.

More likely she's at the BAFTAs getting shitfaced and throwing her legs in every direction EXCEPT downward.

Well, perhaps I just lack a little direction...

Perhaps the third nipple will eventually get its areolae decorated with some flower petals and smiley faces.

So for now, blog stays.

But if one day, out of the blue, you find it no longer here...

Please don't be surprised.

I'll still be reading your blogs though. Especially yours Wegg, you make the mundane seem so un-mundane and with your own brand of individualist spice thrown into the mix. And talk about prolific. I'd like to get bitten by what ever bug got you (I don't mean the creepy ant).

Let's just hope that things get better around here,

For my sake,

And yours.

Keywords, keywords do your thang

2006-04-16T21:30:00.000+09:30

Fitzroy, Richmond, share, accommodation, sunny, terrace, housing, up to $600 per month, music, sweet, acrobats, girls in 6" stillettos dancing naked around a greasy pole, photography, tricky fly, licky tie, sticky pie, magic bus, tragic fuss, sorry no pets.

There...

Now we sit back and allow our unsuspecting new housemartins to become entangled in the cosmic forces of my world-wide web.

Then we pounce!

The meek shall inherit nothing

2006-04-16T20:42:00.000+09:30

By some strange twist of fate, I am now homeless. Officially starting at midnight tonight.

On Friday (after two days off with sickness) , I went to ask the boss what plans had been made for my transfer, and was thusly advised that work in the mother state has suffered an irrepairable setback. During the wait for my lease to end, it would seem that the Project Manager of the interstate job has been replaced with a more budget-conscious individual.

Good thing that I brought it up then, huh? (Eyes roll)

Common wisdom now dictates that there are an adequate number of people working on that project. But my job is still safe (For now...)

It wouldn't have been as much fun to hear that after I had relocated. But two days before the end of my lease is just fabulous. (Fucking fabulous)

So how was your Easter?

Ever tried squeezing a rolled up double sized futon mattress into the front passenger seat of a Peugeot 306? Well that's how Ron Jeremy would feel on a bad day.

Very frustrating.

Suicide gurls: revue

2006-04-09T17:00:00.000+09:30

After a long drive home in the cold from Bendigo (formerly Sandhurst, but this isn't a history lesson) , I was looking forward to a nice warm shower and the opportunity to see my favorite SuicideGirls perform live as they tour the world with their outlandish modern punk rock burlesque show.

Yup.

So, I arrived at the HiFi bar and found the end of the queue. Now I had only heard of the Suicide girls in passing. When I bought my ticket last month, I was expecting to be blown away by gorgeous talented smart funny girls that could do amazing things like contortion and magic tricks and make me want to give up my dreams of becoming a clergyman.

I did read an article in the street press about the debate as to whether the SG show was demeaning to women, some of the former dancers being allegedly exploited and but tried to put those rumours aside as heresay and innuendo. Being an open-minded person, I left all my preconceptions in the cloak room.

I went and had a $7 beer, and looked around. It was only 7.30, and the main show didn't start until 10.30. The room was filling pretty quickly, and there were a surprising number of girls in the audience. And it was funny to see all the Kd Lang hairdos, bad angular fringes and flannel shirts.

The DJ was also a magician, and he was wearing a gas mask or something. I went and had another $7 beer.

When I came back there was a band playing. Sorry don't remember the name, but they had that bland sort of 70s sound that the kids are doing these days. They had a keyboard player too.

Gee 10.30 is still looking a long way off.

Fast forward another few $7 beers.

The first girl came out to open the show with her disclaimer. She had a thick American accent and plenty of attitude.

"Rule number fucken one"

The fucken girls can fucken touch you, but you can't fucken touch the fucken girls."

"Rule fucken number two"

Fucken the girls can touch fucken each other as fucken much as they fucken like. And then had a couple of girls demonstrating by clutching each others boobs.

"Fuckin rule three"

No fucken cameras fucken. Theres like a fucken big guy who'll bash you if you take fucken pictures.

Like whatever.

So one by one the girls came out. They all had "attitude" and lots of energy. They all had tits. Although most of them didn't have enough "attitude" to bare their nipples, with strategically positioned electrical tape to protect their modesty.

Each act lasted a few minutes, and mainly involved two girls in some pretend mild bondage scene. They would strut out onto the stage in some leather outfits, take their bras off, shake around for a bit before strutting off again. They would occasionally kiss each other at some point, much to the delight of the audience. But to me, it came off as a 'tacked on' ratings winner.

The girls were all fairly cute, even the girl with the huge painful looking implants. I was hoping that she wouldn't jump around too much.

So was my $47 ticket wasted? Well, I would say yes. Considering that I could have gone to the stripclub up the road and seen totally naked girls do exactly the same thing for free. And I wouldn't have called it burlesque either. Apart from one girl that had a hula hoop, there was no performance angle to the show what so ever.

Where was the fire breathing? Or the spectacular acrobatics and light show extravaganza? Where was the love?

There was one Australian girl on the tour, and it was nice to hear her familiar accent. Only for her to tell us that there are like a thousand Suicide Girls TM in their global chain, and she was lucky enough to have been selected from the Australian chapter. "

Good for her, I guess.

The only time any of the girls did actually speak was to mouth colourful expletives.

So the girls came out for their big finale.

I'm just glad I wasn't up in the front row. I'd still be trying to get the silly string out of my jacket.

Needless to say after being packed into that smoky room for four hours, it was nice to pick up my preconceptions from the burly man at the door.

The non-industrial revolution

2006-04-09T14:54:00.000+09:30

Well theres nothing like two weeks away from civilisation to clear one's head.

My house is now empty.

The walls echo with a joyful silence.

Yesterday, the smelliest removalists came to clear out my housemates boxes, and like that episode of Seinfeld with the mutant funk, I had to air out the house after they had gone. It took about two hours for the stench to go. Quite surreal.

It was part of a healing process.

Into the last week of my lease, and after further talks with my boss, it seems that he was of the understanding that I would be staying a little longer.

Ha.

I don't know how he got that idea. Perhaps because I said it. Of course I was trying to be sarcastic when I said it, but I don't do sarcasm well. Evidently.

So rather than upset the apple cart (I hate upsetting apple carts) I am leaning towards staying.

Of course I'll have to have further discussions next week, but I suppose I should be covering my bases and looking for other accommodation.

Now, I must say that I am enjoying this feeling of being able to make choices from a position of power. Knowing that I have options available to me is quite exciting. Not having to worry about money is a new thrill for me also.

The boss told me he can guarantee me work here until at least July. Perhaps this is an opportunity to raise my sights? Lift the bar a little?

I might go home and ponder this some more. In a nice empty house.

With some Indian take-out and possibly some porn.

Watch me lose my marbles...

2006-03-25T17:12:00.000+10:30

... live on your mobile.

And then scratch the label to reveal

the four digit pin under the barcode

Text to the number you see on your screen

to vote for the celebrity

you would like to see portray me in a

spam-vertisement

for cheap pharmaceuticals

and stronger erections

60% of women are unsatisfied with their sex-lives

The other 40% could not be contacted

at this moment.

Life: the greatest spectator sport of them all

2006-03-19T18:21:00.000+10:30

There is only one month until my scheduled move back to South Australia.

I say scheduled because it's not set in concrete.

"What do we have to do to make you stay?", pleaded the manager.

Rubbing my chin thoughtfully.

Never had that one before. It feels good to be in that position.

I've terminated the lease, so if they want me to stay a little longer, they'll have to come up with something pretty special residentially speaking.

Anyway, I can't really wait to get out of my current circumstance. Not that it's bad or anything, but I am relishing change at the moment. My current domestic situation has become somewhat johnny-deppressing.

Perhaps next time, I'll get a place on my own. Sure it's lonesome, but it's better than having to act as peacemaker / domestic bitch / step ladder / student counsellor / passive smoker / mother- father figure to neurotic disorderlys. And I like my own company better anyway.

So while we're on the topic... Adrian tell me about yourself.

Ok, well...I turned 27 last month. And my cousin baked me a roast and cooked me a cake. And she had the most stunningly beautiful friend. All blonde hair and legs and bustiere. She's a professor on Applied science and beauty. So totally out of my budget. But it was nice to watch her eat a roast.

She knew exactly how to hold a knife and fork.

And do you know the Brunswick music festival, where they block off Sydney Rd, and have all these bands and stuff play? Well I went to that, and watched it all, and had a ggg.ood time. If you know what I mean...

And I'm going to be out and about again in the next couple of weeks for work. If you live in Bendigo or Ballarat, give me a wave. I'll be coming to your town real soon, okay? And maybe we can make a music video together. I'll supply the music, or you can. Either way.

And it will be a nice way to round things off. The plan will be to put my worldly posessions into storage. Then drive out to Berri (Home of oranges and orange-related products) to map power poles (known as Stobie poles in SA). Will also be in KI, Yorke Peninsula and hopefully the Eyre Peninsula later in the year.

And I want to get it all on film, or its digital equivalent.

Just remember. No rent = $$$ in my pocket = Overseas trip = Good times.

It's all about the watching.

I'd be lost if it wasn't for my eyes.

Golden Glow

2006-03-14T20:34:00.000+10:30

Kerrrrang!

2006-03-11T00:15:00.000+10:30

#2 in a series of accidental photos from my travels through Victoria. This one is from near Kerang.

Scope the cumulus and cirrus cloud types.

5 tickets to paradise

2006-03-10T23:42:00.000+10:30

Fans of burlesque and hot spunkrats (see above pic) will be pleased to know that the Suicide Girls will be touring Oz in the next month. They'll be getting their tatts out, and frolicking around to the joyous sounds of your favourite indie/ new wave music.

It's art folks.

I know I've got my ticket....

Also in the next three days... Dinosaur Jr (original line up) both Saturday and Sunday... Misfits on public holiday Monday, and Lou Barlow going solo next week.

Like NO way.

Righteous to the MAX.

1000 words

2006-03-06T16:15:00.000+10:30

Don't look back!

2006-02-26T14:22:00.000+10:30

I stand before you,
A pillar of salt,
But you can't lick me...
(Salt hardens the arteries, don't you know)

This is what happens
When you gaze
Upon the woman with Snakes in her hair,
And not in her heart.

flesh and blood

2006-02-18T19:34:00.000+10:30

No matter how much I would like to believe otherwise,
Flesh and blood
Is reduced
To flesh and blood
Again
and
Again
Forever
Amen.

T-shirts say the darnedest things

2006-02-11T16:51:00.000+10:30

Have a nice day...

Fuck some one

Home truths

2006-02-11T16:14:00.000+10:30

(1) Ballarat is known for many things. But least known of all is that the most beautiful motel receptionists in the free world live there. FACT.

(2) The Stooges blew away every band at the Big Day Out this year. With an almost frightening ease. Pity the poor old White Stripes who went on after.

(3) You can get a hole in your gyprock wall fixed for $100. This includes painting.

(4) Kindness is too often mistaken for weakness.

Non stop

2006-02-01T01:58:00.000+10:30

I'm just about to finish my 12 hour night shift... and it's 1.29 am.

I'm also just about to start my dayshift tomorrow...

I have to be in Ballarat for a 7.30 start. Which means leaving home at 6. And packing and checking that all the batteries are charged and the equipment is functioning and present.

So why am I here?

Saturday night I went to see the Twits at the Pint on Punt. This Freddy Negro dude, well it was his birthday, and I wanted to see what all the carry on was aboit. And to celebrate the birthday of this world famous celebrity, I had to have a few jars to help him celebrate his day-of-days. Night-of-nights.

Sunday night was drinking white wine, and watching the Australian Open tennis final on the verandah of a mansion in Moonee Ponds. My aunt and uncle were in town, and staying with some friends.

A beautiful night. Homemade pasta with ox tail bolognese sauce. And a tiramisu for afters.

Followed by more wine.

Spare kidneys anybody?

My cousin and her new boyfriend have also moved down from the Gold Coast and are living in an apartment not 5 minutes from my front porch. And to celebrate we all went out for dinner at the Supper Inn.

The best Chinese food in Melbourne. But don't tell anybody ok?

San Choy Bao, Suckling pig, 2 dozen steamed oysters with chili & soy sauce, crispy fried quail, Cantonese Beef, fried rice, and about five other dishes. Not to mention 3 or 4 bottles of wine.

Yum. Serious yum.

So, off to Ballarat tomorrow. Back on Thursday afternoon. Fly to Adelaide Thursday night, Big Day Out on Friday, catch up with friends on Saturday, lunch with my old Biology teacher on Sunday. Back to Melbourne for work on Monday.

I guess I'll have more stories later.

Ooops, make that 1.56 am.

Nite all.

The joy of txt

2006-01-30T23:32:00.000+10:30

19 - Jan - 06

From: Former work colleague

Hey so u don't hear it from someone else on monday found out i have skin cancer seems as though they have removed all the tumor but having surgery to be sure

It seems that the girl now has between a 70 - 98 % chance of survival. It was lucky she says, another month and it could have gotten into her blood stream and spread to other parts of her body.

After her surgery, if there is no sign that the cancer has returned within 3 months, she will be in remission (meaning monthly checks with the same doctor for the next 3 years).

She still has to go into hospital to get a hole cut in her back the size of a pigeon egg to make sure they've got it all, and then have plastic surgery to get the hole repaired.

The problem is the waiting list for the plastic surgery will be about 2 months.

The same two months that it may take for bastard cancers to take scenic tour of girls body.

But there are also a lot of girls in urgent need of boob implants and nosejobs too, you know?

And their husbands are paying cash.

Head in the sand

2006-01-27T02:25:00.000+10:30

My eyesight is pretty bad.

I'm probably not at the Mr Magoo stage,

using a cat to sweep my front porch, or driving my car through the lions cage at the zoo.

Yet.

Until recently, I've learned to live with my impairment.

If you squint a bit, and get your eyes to water, glasses are not necessary at all.

I do own a pair of glasses, mind, but I only wear them for driving.

A former girlfriend said that I looked hot with my glasses on.

But, have you ever looked at the world through a soft-focus lens?

Next time you're sitting on the setee watching Oprah and snacking on pork-rinds, go up close to the screen and have a look.

(Oh that's right, if you can see properly you don't have to get off the couch)

You will see that everything is soft, and.. fuzzy. There are no angry sharp edges or bitter twisted angularity.

Just soft white clouds and a rainbow.

Well no more I tell you.

I'm going cold turkey.

I need to see the world as it really is.

The lines on my face.

The blemishes in my skin.

The eyes of people in the street.

Hey Ramrod!

2006-01-18T18:59:00.000+10:30

It has come to my attention from various media outlets that the 41st Victorian Hot Rod Show is on this weekend.

Exciting huh?

I feel strangely compelled to attend this event, if not for the briefest of moments. Allow me to explain.

But first, you need to come on a little journey with me through time. Here throw on this pair of magical time travelling happypants and matching bustiere.

Yes, I know that zip at the back is a little tricky,... let me help.

Don't mind my wandering hands.

All buckled up?

Take my hand.

*travelling through time*

Wow, here we are in 1995.

No, you can't check your e-mail, the internet won't be popular for at least another two years.

This is a mystical year when people didn't wear truckers caps, but Orlando Magic baseball caps (funny coz their a basketball team). And here in 1995 if you wore a pink shirt, you would probably get beaten up by the same people that are wearing them in 2006.

Time-travel does some weird things to people. (and thats just going forward)

And if you look over there, curled up in that bed, you will see me.

I'm sleeping, but don't wake me up....

I'm having a strange but vivid dream of being at a car show. I'm checking out all the chrome and carbys. I have no idea of the significance of this dream, because I haven't been much into cars since 1991, when I used to buy Street Machine magazine every month. My favourite car was the black four-door HJ Premier in the October 1990 edition, and I had the centrefold pinned up on my wall. It could pull sub-10 second quarter mile times and had a fully blown 454ci Chev motor (bored out to 482ci) under the hood.

Regardless, I'm at this car-show. But it's strange because I can't figure out where I am. I mean the surroundings are unfamiliar. It seems like the Torrens Parade Grounds in Adelaide, because it's a big asphalt quadrangle, but it's not. I just can't put my finger on it.

And there is a blonde girl in denim cut-offs and a wet tshirt sponging down a red '32 Ford roadster. There are suds everywhere, and I mean everywhere

"Hey ramrod! I'm just about to put some wax on these puppies. Can you help me?

Sorry to do this to you at the critical moment, but we have to go back to the future now... I'm about to wake up. It always happens that you wake up before the good bits huh?

You know the drill.

*more time travel, this time to 2006*

So anyways, a few months ago, I was walking home from work past the Royal Exhibition buildings, and it struck me that the setting of this dream could have been right here in Melbourne. Right where I was standing. It just felt right.

Imagine my surprise when now they are going to put on a hot-rod show in the very same place. It's all a little de ja vu, je ne sais pas porqui

Don't you think?

So now I must go to the hot-rod show. I want to know why I dreamed of the hot-rod show some 10 years prior to its eventual being.

If only to see the blonde girl wax her puppies.

Green Room

2006-01-14T15:22:00.000+10:30

The most amazing things happened last night...

I reached into my pocket.... and pulled out...

a telephone!

Would you believe... a girl-scout with rabies?

And if that isn't freaky enough,... I then used the telephone... to take photographs. Totally bodacious. You don't believe me do you? You think I've watched too many episodes of Get Smart.

Well here is the undeniable proof...

Hard-Ons at the Green Room last night.

Some great bands played. The Spazzys were good, but of course they just had to show up to be good. I missed Mach Pelican and Bored! (Did Bored! actually play?)

The most entertaining band of the night was called "Mr Hyde and the Jekylls" or something at 4am. The singer (pictured below in Golden Axe garb) yells out:

"We're the Bad Brains, and this is I against I" before launching himself off the front of the stage and canonballing into the largely empty room as the band lurched and thrashed away on stage. He was on a mission to get in as many people's faces as possible, and he did this admirably.

The next thing I knew the little stocky guy was buried under about twenty people who decided they didn't care for the cut of his jib. The band themselves were great, and they worked away to make this soundtrack for the chaos. Almost like two seperate conversations at the same time.

And the Big Daaay Out is going to be fun this year. I'll see you in the pit.

creativity

2006-01-10T00:07:00.000+10:30

There's so much bubbling round my head at the moment that it has been very hard to translate ideas into anything more than that.

to be busy working has nothing to do with creative output----

take it as you will.

i've been unemployed for a few months now.

and been getting plenty laid, and all that nonsense.

but creativity is a constant.

it finds its variables in which it must be placed.

(Cantsin)

Well I believe that creative genius is made up of 1% inspiration, 1% perspiration, 1% education, and 99% penetration. If only Einstein would agree with me on that?

Russian Dolls

2006-01-09T20:20:00.000+10:30

Wow I can't believe it's been nine days since New Years already. As luck might have it, I received a txt from a former student to come to a gourmet barbeque. It was held at their apartment in South Melbourne, and it was good to see so many Adelaide faces.

Flouting firebans, we trammed and jammed into Federation Square to watch the fireworks spectacular, and stood on the bridge over the Yarra as the starbursts exploded around us. It's the first time in ages that I've been anyplace public for NYE. There were people everywhere, and after it all finished 20 minutes later, we headed back to the apartment. The only problem was that we were going against the torrent of people that were headed into the city, and were almost trampled in our efforts to get home. And the heat was intense. It was still 32 degrees at midnight, and with all that body heat, it was almost overwhelming.

New Years Resolutions? Sure. Here are some that I prepared earlier.

(1) I baked myself a fish. It was a rainbow trout, and it had already been gutted, so all that I had to do was add a few vegies and put it in the oven. It was a little pink in the middle, but it's probably better to undercook than overcook. Not bad for a first try.

(2) On New Years Day, I went for a scenic drive down to Portsea (Well almost... there was a big festival on Phillip Island and the traffic was crazy, so I turned around and stopped off at Dromana for some fish and chips. Very nice.

With the radio on, and an arm out the window, and wearing my favourite wife-beater, I was reminded of the harshness of the Australian sun. The next day my right shoulder came up looking like a strawberry pie.

(3) I ventured down to my local Nova cinema on Lygon Street, Carlton. (I'm sure there's one in every state or territory. Consult your local guides). The movie I chose was Russian Dolls or Les Poupées Russes if you'll pardon my French. I always judge a film by its promotional poster, and this one had several beautiful girls on it. Including, but not limited to Audrey Tautou from Amelie. Anyways without giving anything away, on a scale of one to ten, I rate this film as

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

And speaking of Russian Dolls, please enjoy this amusing cartoon about Russian Dolls that I just found...

Out with the old...

2006-01-01T20:08:00.000+10:30

A new blog template is as good as a holiday they say.

Happy new year!

Choose your own adventure...

2005-12-24T20:44:00.000+10:30

It's Christmas eve, and here we find ourselves under the Australian native mistletoe...

The options are:

(1) Pluck the fruit of the parasitic plant (Amyema quandang) and make tasty quandang jams and conserves,

(2) Admire the majesty of the Western Myall (Acacia papyrocarpa), the favoured host of the aforementioned mistletoe which can live for over 300 years,.... or

(3) Make out like bandits

The choice is yours.

Which ever path you decide, enjoy your Christmas and may your belly be large and filled with the fruit of your success.

... all over his pants

2005-12-19T20:25:00.000+10:30

The new year can't come fast enough for me.

Almost like premature ejaculation.

I'm quite eager to get stuck into 2006, as a few things have become clear to me over the past few weeks. Work is crazy busy. I'm finding that an excellent way to not spend money is to make money. And it's been good to take my hand off the wheel and let things coast for awhile.

The only drawback to all this work is that I seem to be losing my creativity and the ability to have interesting conversation. Hmmm....

*blink*

"So Adrian, have they given you a date for moving back to Adelaide yet?" enquired my ever-so-righteous-housechum.

I sat in silent contemplation.

I didn't know what I was going to say, but I knew whatever it might be, that I was signing my name with my tongue. The next words out of my mouth would determine my future.

I smiled to myself as the good-fairy and bad-fairy jostled for position around my head.

"It'll be sometime mid-January. They said they would tell me on Monday.", I fabricated.

The bad fairy won. He often does.

"They sound a bit disorganised to me."

I smiled to myself and left it at that.

Well the truth of the matter is that I've decided not to go back to Adelaide. Not yet anyways.

Instead I've decided on a much more cunning course of action. I'm going to leave my current quarters, and search for somewhere else to live (in Melbourne).

Why should I move all the way back to Adelaide for an extra $10 K in benefits?

I think that I'm worth more than $10 K.

The Adelaide job will still be there in six months. I'll consider the options then. But for now, I want to live consarn it. And I still don't feel that I've landed in the right place yet, dagnabbit.

So I'm gunna be lookin for some new housemates. Interests should include (in no particular order)

Music (And I'm not talking about Shannon Noll or Bernard fucking Fannning)
Soirees (Tea, biscuits, wine, prawns)
Literature (Proust, Rousseau, Viz magazines)
Exercise (Jane Fonda, Clint Eastwood)

and

Being...

oo000oo

I'm all excited to be seeing the Fireballs at the Prince of Wales this Friday night (Christmas Eve Eve). The last time I saw this rockabilly outfit was in 1997 I believe at the Unibar in Adelaide. I was rather tipsy due to having consumed a good portion of a bottle of cheap scotch (Apologies to Alice for my wandering hands). It will be another sentimental journey for me, because I remember being at the Prince of Wales on NYE in 2000, and having a rather raucously riveting night. So I'm hoping for a repeat.

And what plans for New Years?

I am a firm believer that however you spend your New Years Eve sets a precedent for the year ahead. So... I'm going to go down to the Mornington Peninsula (I haven't been down there yet) to check out the sights. I hear good things happen there on NYE?

I'm still unsure whether I'm going to party on, or spend it in tranquil contemplation.

Hmmm...

Whatever the outcome...

Look out 2006, I'll make you into mincemeat.

Christmas crackerjacks

2005-12-14T01:05:00.000+10:30

Santa (pictured centre with miscellaneous punters) watches in stunned disbelief as yours truly delivers another cracker of a shot down the green.

Yeah, it's true, Groove Terminator Laboratories will be having its Xmas party at the same bowling club where they filmed Crackerjack.

I've been told that it's quite a trendy place to hang out in Melbourne, so I'll have to dust off my salmon polo top and turn the collar up especially high.

Look out ladies :)

2005: The Revue

2005-12-13T21:52:00.000+10:30

1. What did you do in 2005 that you hadn't done before?

Quit my dead-end job, established myself as a major player in the big smoke, had phone-sex, ... And started this Blog.

2. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, I don't think so, although nearly all of my female friends have had kids in the last few years.

3. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes. My grandmother on my father's side.

4. Did you travel? Where did you go? Best holiday memory?

Drove over to Adelaide (and back to Melbourne) a couple of times. Flew to the Gold Coast. And travelling through country Victoria for work. Best 'holiday' memory was my GM's wake. It was so great to catch up with family, and knock back a few wines. I remember looking around the room and thinking how lucky I was to be related to these people.

5. Best thing you bought?

Screaming Believers album "Communist mutants from outer space" $8.

6. Where did most of your money go?

Most of my earnings has gone into the bars, eateries and cafeterias in Brunswick St and the surrounding district. But I've enjoyed spending every penny. And on my farking car.

7. What do you wish you had done more of?

I suppose I wish that I had spent more time with my friends.

8. What do you wish you had done less of?

Spending money!

9. What kept you sane?

I'm not exactly sure. Probably the ability to disassociate myself from my emotions. Scientology has some merit after all.

10. What drove you mad?

Being the only guy in a house with two women.

11. What made you celebrate?

Hmm, not much celebrating this year. I resolve to change that next year.

12. What made you sad?

Obvious answers include break-up with long-time girlfriend and leaving friends in Adelaide.

13. How was your birthday this year?

Good. I think I had a few beers and a curry with Darren at the Bombay if memory serves.

14. What political issue stirred you the most this year?

Probably the Singapore death-sentence thing. Remember: if you don't want to die, don't smuggle drugs to SE Asia.

15. Were you in love in 2005?

No. Only in the Biblical sense

16. What would you like to have in 2006 that you didn't have this year?

A passport full of stamps from far-away and exotic places (Like Cairns).

17. What date from 2005 will be etched in your memory and why?

17 April 2005

18. What song will remind you of 2005?

Probably Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani ??? It just seems to capture the feel of 2005. Oh and also that horrible "Had a bad day song" due to monotonous repetition on Triple-Bogan FM (and everywhere else)

19. Compared to this time last year are you happier?

Hmm, that's a tough one. I was very unhappy this time last year. I'm not sure if I'm happier now, or more content, or more jaded to the point that I feel numb. I guess numb is better than unhappy? There is still a long way to go in this area. But I'm making progress I think.

20. Biggest achievement this year?

Realizing that I have a lot more potential than others would give me credit for.

21. Biggest disappointment this year?

Loss of several friendships/ acquaintances as a result of differences in opinions or marriages or other trivialities or irrelevancies.

22. What is the one thing that would have made you more satisfied?

A snickers bar? They really satisfy. Or so the advertisement says. Meeting more people on my wavelength would have been satisfying.

23. Best new person you met this year?

This girl

24. A valuable life lesson you learnt this year?

What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.

25. Question you made up yourself?

Who is your current favourite hostess from TV?

Why it's Toni Pearen of course.

Thankyou and pieces-of-eight to Elaine the Pirate

Please Note!

2005-12-08T20:04:00.000+10:30

2 x tyres require replacement $270
Outer tie rod ends worn $221.10
Front brake hoses are cracked $242.20
O/s front s/absorber leaking oil - both front struts are soft $675.48
Radiator side tank cracked and leaking - reqires replacing $735

Total
$2143.78

Spacewalk time, spacewalk time...

2005-12-05T18:00:00.000+10:30

Getting out of bed this morning was a big mistake.

I was woken up at 7.45 (in the am) by my phone. A work colleague from Groove Terminator Laboratories rang to tell me that he had found some field maps on the air-conditioner in the parking garage beneath work.

"They must be mine", I concluded.

Although I had no idea why they would have been there. I'm sure I remember putting them upstairs, although memory is pretty hazy (It was Saturday, come on!)

I arrived at work at two thirty to find some maps stuffed on my desk, underneath the clear plastic folder that they came in. The only problem was that there were meant to be two plastic folders, and about twice as many maps.

I went down to the hire car and turned everything upside-down looking for them.

No trace.

I drove home and tipped everything over looking for the maps.

No maps.

Sheepish, but not particularly wooly, and quietly fuming, I drove back to work.

"They must be at work somewhere. I'll wait til everyone goes home, and then I'll have a good look around."

I managed to locate the person that had found my maps and put them on the airconditioner.

"Yeah there was just a whole bunch of maps layin on the ground and I put them on the airconditioner. They was all A3 and folded in half."

I had a flashback to Saturday, where I may have left the maps on the bonnet of the car whilst I unloaded gear into the workshop. That may have explained said maps flying off as I drove my steed flinging valuable maps into the recesses of the basement. It didn't however explain why only half the maps had been recovered.

So I didn't tell anyone that I'd lost my maps. Remember the golden rule.

Never admit to your mistakes

Especially not on your blog, where quite possibly everyone from the office reads it.

Okay so it's not the end of the world. I'll go back to the goldfields with the new maps this weekend, and get the data. And I'll have lost a weekend, but I'll have my job. Cool.

So then I'm sitting in my luxurious armchair when Mark comes over.

"Adrian, where are the keys to the workshop."

Eeep.

"It's okay, I'll just reach into my pocket and pull them out, because after all, that's where I put them right?"

And of course Murphy's Law played out in full effect. You know, key disappears from existence. I won't bore you with the details, but Candice Bergen was probably there with her little candid camera getting it all down on film to be shown at the office Christmas party.

Needless to say that there are people that will need the key first thing tomorrow morning, and will be rather pissed when it is not where it is meant to be.

Aren't you glad that I'm not a doctor?

"I'm sorry Mrs Watherstone, but I seem to have left my retractor in your pancreas."

Thar's gold in thum thar hills

2005-12-03T16:43:00.000+10:30

The Central Goldfields is a charming place a couple of hours NW of Melbourne. Very reminiscent of the Barossa in Adelaide, but a little more remote.

For the most part of the week, the weather was great during the day, and on the drives home at night, there were heavy thunderstorms. Excellent timing. I took a couple of shots, but realised that the camera was in sepia mode. They still look okay though.

And check out this knarley tortoise following the broad gauge line on his migratory journey between ponds. I didn't even know that tortoises were native to Austalia. Or that they got about in the arid regions.

Friday night, we had dinner at the local saloon and watched the deluge outside. The young farmers would have been upset to be recieving such heavy follow up rains during the harvest.

Standing at the jukebox, I was going to put on some Gene Pitney, when I felt a presence loom behind me.

'Twas a man in a flannel shirt with the arms cut off, stubbie shorts and desert boots. He was dancing, flailing his arms about, drunk, and he poked me in the back.

"Put on some country and western. That'd go down a treat right about now."

"Country and western?"

About the only country and western I like is bluegrass. And they didn't have Who broke the lock on the hen house door?. Although I would have love to have played it just to see what would happen.

I'd already heard Lee Kernaghan about thirty times that night, so I put on "24 hours from Tulsa" just to spite him.

Not a wise choice.

"What's this shit?" "This isn't Cuntry and western"

I was later told that his brother was in jail for starving all his sheep, and there was some talk that he had shot the cigarette out of a mans mouth at thirty paces.

That's the gold fever. All crazy like.

I hightailed it out of the saloon and headed for the hills.

If only they had that Benny Hill music on the jukebox too.

Chicken sandwich

2005-11-25T18:39:00.000+10:30

I've made a decision to devote my life to my work.

Just like Charles Darwin, or Sigmund Freud, or that guy from the Curiosity Show.

The next few weeks leading up to Christmas will be very busy at Groove Terminator laboratories, as they have been for the past couple. We are being encouraged to work weekends, and there is a lot of data that needs to be processed. It also means more field work. (Yay!)

Next week will be spent in between Bendigo and St Arnaud.

If anybody knows of any REALLY good bakeries in the area, please let me know by Monday.

It is important that I am well fed, as the quality and accuracy of my work depends on it.

Steel fist in velvet glove

2005-11-25T18:18:00.000+10:30

Fingers on laptop,

The VB stubbie sits at my side

Like a faithful friend,

And the PUBLIC WITNESS PROGRAM

Is in full swing.

You too

2005-11-25T17:21:00.000+10:30

It's finally been released that U2 will be touring Oz next year.

I've been waiting for ages for them to release the dates. And luckily they go on sale just after payday. It just means I won't be going home for Xmas, or paying the rent.

And despite the fact that their last album was a bit lame, redeemable for one song, perhaps one of the greatest songs they ever wrote, I will be quite looking forward to following them about the country.

It's part of my plan y'see.

Down at Devilgate Drive

2005-11-15T21:38:00.000+10:30

Yes that's right, I was in Adelaide this weekend.

I had the pleasure of eating steaks at Gaucho's. And what steaks they were. 500 grams of the finest grain-fed beef. Marinated in garlic and coriander. Seared to perfection. And roasted potatos and stir-fried broccolini. I only just managed to finish.

One day, I'm going to order the 1 kilo T-bone.

A glass of red, and an after dinner port along with great company. Who could ask for more?

Thought of the day

2005-11-09T10:34:00.000+10:30

There is something undeniably erotic about watching a girl eat a banana.

A man is not a Camel

2005-11-06T18:03:00.000+10:30

Unless he has a hump...

Is there anything to do in Melbourne that doesn't involve drinking copious amounts of alcohol?

Not that that's a bad thing really,

This weekend was alcohol free. Did the 5-way Sudoku in the Age (actually finished last weeks one, I haven't started the new one!)

I bought a purdy new bedspread, and a couple of new pillows (Jason extra firm) and cleaned out my room. The harem comes closer to fruition.

At 5am, I was treated to the dulcet tones of my flatmate getting fucked by her new boyfriend (again). It's quite a well rehearsed activity from the sounds of things. A low male grunt every three seconds. Interspersed with a high pitched female groan at every three grunts. Occasionally there will be the sound of thighs slapping as she is taken from behind. And it's all over in five minutes.

I think I need a coffee...

(One hump, or two?)

Through space and time

2005-11-06T17:38:00.000+10:30

Each person that I encounter
has an impact on my path
Some people are like Jupiter,
pulling me into their gravitational fields
Adding momentum

Others are like meteorites crashing through the atmosphere
Forming craters in my soul
Sending me reeling tangentially
into the cosmos

And there are the electron storms
That do nothing but fuck up my circuitry
As I pass through them
Otherwise untouched

At the far ends of the galaxy
Contact by radio (or other means)
Becomes hit or miss

Just
plenty of inertia
And the unknown

Summertime rolls

2005-11-01T01:34:00.000+10:30

It's unofficially the first day of summer today! Yay!!

And what better time to create a new list of dreams? We'll say for the next year just to give a time frame.

(1) Travel overseas... again
I'm thinking San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, although I'd love to see the Rocky mountains, the deserts of Arizona and the prairies of the Southern states. And I'm in need of some sort of proper holiday. Maybe a cruise? Although I've heard that only old people go on cruises. Or maybe another trip back to SE Asia. Not any of those tourist-ridden places like Bali though. Somewhere more pristine and off the beaten track.

Actually I'd like to do the Kimberleys too. It's in Australia, and it'd be fun if there was a resort or something up there.

(2) See some great bands
I've also wanted to see U2 in their heartland?!? So hopefully they will play some more shows in North America late next year. That would be a great excuse to do (1) while I'm at it. I was fortunate enough to see them play at Footy Park in 93? and it was great, although I was quite overawed by the occasion. I'd also like to see some great bands in LA that I would never tour over here.

Oooh, and I just noticed Iggy and the Stooges are playing the Big Day Out next year! Having not once been to a BDO(!), I am prepared to make an exception this year.

(3) Continue to improve financial situation
That's a bit vague isn't it? And can I do that with (1) and (2) as well? I think I'm headed in the right direction...

(4) Reconsider my future job prospects
Having been able to find a suitable job has been a huge leap for me this year. I have learned a great deal, and it will be invaluable experience for the next stage. Although it still isn't fulfilling yet. I'm prepared to let that go though because I'm not ready to get totally serious about my career yet. Although it wouldn't hurt to broaden my horizons a little.

Hmmm,... I can't really think of anything else right now. Of course there are the obvious ones... Meet girl of dreams, Stay sane, ... etc.

Alright...

(5) Get in contact with old friends/ people from my past
This is something I've wanted to do for awhile. Perhaps if I put it down here, it will become more of a priority. I find people that I meet these days to be so disconnected. Maybe it's just part of getting older. Anyway, I would like to catch up with some people that I haven't seen for ages. Just to see what they are doing now. If they are still as cool as they were. Or if I just imagined it.

I recieved contact from an old Biology teacher of mine from highschool 15 years ago, and he said that he would like to organise a reunion. That would be neat.

When I'm in Adelaide in a couple of weeks, I think I'll look him up.

And so, at 1.34am, I'm going home. Goodnite to all.

And another thing...

2005-10-30T19:37:00.000+10:30

Daylight savings started last night. Just thought you might like to know that.

For those people that didn't read the bottom corner of page 343 of yesterdays paper.

It's not like changing the whole time scale might warrant any publicity or anything, I mean I heard it third hand from a passing Japanese motorist.

I just didn't want any of you to be late for work.

Or picking up your drycleaning...

miss you so much!

2005-10-30T18:16:00.000+10:30

Just so there is no confusion, the title of this post is the result of AutoComplete in forms.

Last night I had the options of going to the Arthouse to see the Backseat Romeos, or the Poppin Mommas, Dung and the Meanies at the Espy, or the Highball Burlesque at Salon Kitty.

I trisected these three venues, and stayed home and had an early night. It proved to be the best choice. Not to say that I wouldn't have minded any one or even all three, but...

Chne heh.

And I just saw famous comedian Dave Hughes outside in Acland St. He just got dropped off in this beaten up old Ford Telstar. I wonder if that was part of his act?

Reformation

2005-10-28T21:19:00.000+09:30

Tonight, I'm going to go home and disassemble myself from the head down.

And when I put myself back together, there will not be any more blowing of smoke or strange pinging sounds. And all the parts will be well lubricated and move freely in their housings.

I've done it many times before without any instructions.

And there is always a bolt or a washer left over.

Never to be replaced.

Messy night

2005-10-23T14:27:00.000+09:30

Working some very odd shifts last week has left my body clock in a state of disarray.

Friday night I didn't get home until 5am. But the sad thing was I had just finished work. I only had about 3 or 4 hours of sleep, because there is a skylight in my room that prevents any sleep after about 10am. So I forced myself up, and went for a walk around Fitzroy Gardens. It's really nice there, reminds me of the botanical gardens in Adelaide. And the weather was great. Overcast warm with just a hint of breeze. Always feels so surreal and dreamy.

I found myself in the city at GoGo sushi, because I was craving something healthy. And a couple of green teas left me pretty spaced. I ended up at work again. Whoops! How did I get there? Free internet and phone possibly?

Anyway it started to rain and I was glad that I was inside, and when it cleared I rode my bike home for a couple of hours sleep before heading out.

My local is grauB. They've got a cheap pool table and the beers are inexpensive. The girl that manages it Kerry? is a sweetie. she always surprises with a packet of chips or a complementary drink. And she has great taste in music. It was good to hear them play some Archers. You just don't hear that in a pub. Anywhere.

Anyways, I met up with a guy that I'd met when I first came over, and we ended up at the Perserverence on Brunswick. And after a few scotch and drys, Alia Bar again. I don't know why I ended up here again, but I guess it's open late and close to home. So, home at 5am again.

I was going to go to the gym, but when the alarm went off, I was still pissed, so went back to sleep.

And when I went to empty my pockets, I found a packet of beer nuts and one of those sleeping blindfold mask things.

In all a good night. You can always tell how good your night has been by what you find in your pockets the next day.

Pisces

2005-10-22T16:07:00.000+09:30

There are some great astrology sites on the web.

Like this one, and this one

And it's worth remembering that astrology is the oldest science in the world dating back more than 5000 years.

Therefore it must be true.

Breaking news...

2005-10-17T21:21:00.000+09:30

My planned return to SA has been delayed by a month. The person designed to take my place here in the cartography department didn't get the job.

It's a good thing I hadn't given notice at home, or I'd be sleeping under the projector in the boardroom....

It's not all bad news, I'll have a bit of time to save some money, get my radiator fixed and enjoy living in the fair city of Melbourne a little longer. And the weather is sweet right now.

But I'll see if I can get back to Adelaide before then anyhow.

Hmm,.... I feel like a lemon squash.

Beating the curve

2005-10-17T14:37:00.000+09:30

I got an O+ for my blood test.

It's the most common type, found in 40% of the population.

Why was I hoping for something a little more exotic?

Another wasted night

2005-10-17T13:48:00.000+09:30

Well Friday night found me almost penniless, yet somewhat restless. I just wanted to get out of it, so I went down to the Union Club for a couple of wines. I was gonna get some food too, but that would have taken up valuable real estate. And a guy that I had met previously was there, so we played doubles with a couple of cute girls, and things started getting competitive. So we swapped partners, (ooooh how risque) and started playing for Cowboy shots.

It's another peculiarity about Melbourne. Everyone loves to play for drinks.

Not that I was complaining. I was winning after all.

We ended up at Alia Bar which is one of the countless nightclubs in Fitzroy. Nothing special about it, another faceless DJ, many 'beautiful' people.

But the lack of sleep and the many drinks had caught up with me. I sat on a couch and tried to regain my bearings. It could have been half, 1, 2 or three hours. But I was OK after that.

And after an in-depth and somewhat heated discussion on the merits of Pete Murray as a serious artist/performer, I decided to stumble home at 5am.

Syrup

2005-10-11T15:56:00.000+09:30

Sometimes...

A voice,

Dripping with

Syrup,

Unexpected...

Is

All

It

Takes

To

Put Fire in your

heart
...

Adieu, Adieu!!

2005-10-11T15:43:00.000+09:30

It wasn't a tough choice. I almost jumped at the chance.

I'll be moving back to SA on November 3. About 3 weeks time, just in case you didn't have a calendar on you. The day after the Melbourne cup long weekend (Here in Melbourne anyhow).

Things have worked out almost perfectly for me career-wise over here, but from a social perspective it could be so much more. In a way I think it'll be a blessing.

So I'll be living somewhere in the Barossa at first. I'll save $600 a month in rent, because accommodation is paid for, and I'll get a living away from home bonus as well. Even though I'm technically at home.

I'll miss Smith Street though.

I knocked off early from work, and headed down to get some spaghettini (I'm such a yuppie. None of that spaghtetti for me. Only peasants eat that ;) )

I was sitting there eating away, and some scruffy looking guy comes in. And the trendy lady asks him what he wants.

He says nothing, but helps himself to a jug of water sitting on the bar and pours himself a glass. He drinks it down, and then stumbles off toward the door. He puts the glass on the floor by the door, and heads off into the bustle.

It's just so random, that you have to dig it. Expect the unexpected.

I reckon I'll definitely be back here when the work finishes though. And this time I know what I'm up against. I'll do it properly next time.

Next time.

FIN

What time is it?

2005-10-09T15:19:00.000+09:30

"Where are my pills?" "What time is it?"

"It's quarter to three."

Every day it's the same. Except sometimes it's not quarter to three. Sometimes its six thirty.

Or nine fifteen.

And then we go on talking.

"So you were thinking of moving the couch."

"Huh?"

My flatmate has epilepsy. And she has seizures nearly everyday. We'll be sitting there talking about some trivial matter, when suddenly her eyes lose focus and this look of panic crawls across her face like a beetle.

"What time is it?"

"Where are my pills?"

And for a brief few seconds she becomes infused with daemons that take over her body.

I remember it happened to my Oma once shortly before she died. And a chill ran up my spine that was quite eerie.

Normally her palsy lasts for a few seconds and her head and arms twitch, and she continues with her rantings. And slowly, you can see her regain control of her senses. And she has no recollection of any of her short term memory. In fact it's not until you actually tell her that she had a seizure that she even realizes that she has had one.

It's quite surreal.

The first time it happened, I didn't know that she was epileptic, and when I asked my other flatmate, she said:

"Oh, yeah I forgot to tell you, but don't worry about it, it's nothing serious."

The problem is that now it is becoming serious.

Her seizures are increasing in regularity. And while the ones she has during the day are not very bad, apparently the worst ones she has are at night. While she is asleep. She has no recollection of these either, but when she wakes up, she knows because she feels like she has been hit by a bus. Every muscle in her body hurts, and she has ulcers in her mouth from where she has bitten her gums.

And she has them at the gym, and at work. And she is still driving, which I personally think is a bit wrong.

And the reason for this epilepsy is a congenital defect of her brain. It's something that she only started having at the age of twenty-four. And medication has been able to help her thus far. Unfortunately she is not responding to the drugs anymore and surgery is her only option.

It's all pretty fucked up. The surgery would be in her brain stem, and there is a strong chance that she could lose part or all of her sight. Or worse.

You don't want to go monkeying about in there. It'd be like a game of Operation, except the risks would be a bit greater than a buzzer and a flashing red nose.

"It's okay though because I'll be able to count my flatmates to look after me."

But where does the responsibility of flatmate end?

Is it having help with the rent? Is it a shoulder to cry on after a long day at work? Or is it spoon feeding them and wiping their arse?

It seems that these things always happen at the most inconvenient time. I was just about to tell her that I was thinking about moving back to SA.

I really wouldn't want to be in her shoes at the moment. And I can tell that she is scared. I would be feeling the same way.

She has been going out a lot lately. Not the best thing for her condition. But I think she's just trying to cram as much fun as she can into the next few months. If there was a high possiblity that I would have only a few months left of normal life, I might do the same thing.

There is every chance that after her operation (which hasn't yet been confirmed) that she would be left paralysed or needing months or years of rehab, reprogramming her speech and learning to walk.

And you wouldn't even know that she had it if you passed her in the street.

So that's the story.

Should I let this new variable affect my decision? Or should I be a selfish cunt and move out?

Decisions, Decisions...

2005-10-07T15:30:00.000+09:30

I hate making decisions. I always have the feeling that it's a matter of life and death...

The boss just asked me if I would be interested in relocating to Adelaide to work on a job mapping powerlines.

Ha!

I'm certainly interested.

Despite the fact that I've just relocated from Adelaide... and blown a fortune in the process of getting here, it might be nice to spent a bit of time touring about SA. Good to catch up with Darren and the old gang.

The only thing is that the boss doesn't really want to lose me from the project that I'm on now either. I told him as much, but I don't mind where I'm working just as long as I'm doing something. I'm such a job-slut. And I was just about to start mapping a new railroad line in the Murray Mallee, that I was quite looking forward to.

The new contract would be for 10-12 months working 6 days a week, and I'll be living in a house with maybe 3 workmates with all accomodation paid for.

It'd be a great way to save some cash. Although I'd still be paying rent where I'm living now despite not actually living there.

This could be my chance to become a hero and win plaudits and adulation from my fellow co-workers and broaden my skills base and job prospects to the point where my cv would look quite sexy.

And having the home ground advantage would certainly help.

But I am only just getting into the swing of Melbourne.

I have until Monday to let him know...

Any ideas?

3 things that happened in Melbourne in 24 hours

2005-10-06T16:54:00.000+09:30

(1) Bloodsport

Last night riding home from work at the ungodly time of 11pm, I was pedalling up Flinders Street with a tummy full of tasty Kashmiri chicken and assorted pickles and conserves, when I felt my spider-senses tingling. They always seem to tingle around this part of town... Just out the front of the Flinders Station.

The last time, there was some drunk guy yelling at me to "chuck a mono". After I declined his invitation, he then yelled that I was the "worst bike rider ever." That was just rude and hurtful. By the way, he wasn't making such a great pedestrian either :)

There was trouble up ahead. A van had stopped in the traffic, and I pulled into the traffic to go around. I could hear two strapping young twenty-somethings shouting expletives and flapping their arms about like a couple of seabirds fighting over that last greasy yet nutritious chip.
And between them was more pink-polo-top-with-upturned-collar-ness than one could bear to watch. Not that I could see much because the van was blocking my way.

As I came up around the other side of the van, I could see a few fists being thrown about, none of which were hitting any targets. But,... one of the bemulleted youths was sprawled over the bonnet of the oncoming van, leaving the poor driver with ringside streets at an unexpected bloodsport in the comfort AND privacy of his own vehicle.

I didn't hang around to see what happened, but I suspect that hair was messed up, and girlfriends may have screamed. And I didn't stay around to see who won, but I don't think either of them did.

(2) Trip to IKEA

I saw this particularly nifty workstation for my desktop that would fit great in the little nook at the bottom of the stairs.

I rang them to find out if they could send one over because my car was out of action.

After waiting on the phone while the pre-recorded message went through the rigours of trying to piss me off, I was finally put through to a human being to finish the job.

I was told rather indignantly that all purchases must be made in store. And delivery is $35 if within 5 km and $65 if between 5-10 km.

Convenient.

That's nearly as much as what the furniture costs.

So I had to get the car fixed, and went down to pick one up. I couldn't really complain about the service because there wasn't any :)

And I suppose that's why they make the prices so low.

But anyway, I'll have fun tomorrow morning trying to bolt it all together. Lets just hope that it turns out like the one in the picture.

(3) Celebrity sighting

I saw Nicole Kidman at Safeway.

And she had her hair the same way as in BMX Bandits. Tight little orange curls.

Tasty.

Depression

2005-10-04T22:26:00.000+09:30

Whoa, this is a big post.

I thought I'd write a bit about my experiences with it. And if people get anything out of it, then so be it. Otherwise I hope it's an entertaining read? It's pretty psyched out stuff, so if you are easily freaked out, just continue on with your daily doings.

Depression.

There's a LOT of it going around at the moment. And not just with me. It's not nice when someone you know has it either. There's not a lot you can do to help them. It's about battling with your personal demons.

Noone else can help you with it because they don't understand it. And no amount of kind words or nice thoughts, well wishes or hugs can stop it. Sure it might feel nice for a little while, and it can certainly help. But as soon as they're gone, you're just sitting there with your brain once again. Sad but true.

The only one that can help you deal with it is yourself.

Let me take you back to the year 1992. The year punk broke.

I was in high school. Year 10 I think. All the other kids in the class were total dicks, and used to pick on me for one reason or another. Mainly because they didn't understand who I was, and I couldn't be bothered trying to explain myself to them.

Ha, like they would have got it anyway.

But anyway, there was this one other guy in my class. Nathaniel. And we struck up a pretty good acquaintance. He was a bit of a loner, and pretty quiet and so I guess we just naturally gravitated towards each other.

We had a lot in common. An appreciation of music. We'd talk about our favourite bands of the time: U2, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd.

And he was always sitting there in class (when he turned up) and drawing caricatures and tripped out pictures on his notebook, whilst the teacher droned on about something or other. And I bored him senseless with my stories about my favourite girl of the week and how I wanted to kiss her so much and that I was going to marry her :)

He also made music. He had an Amiga and he had a cheap strat copy that he could play a few chords on. So I thought he was pretty cool.

And we were both the rebellious typoe I guess. I hated science class because if you didn't end up with 27 spitballs in your hair or recieve threats of violence, you were doing well. So, he invited me around to his house around the corner as a more appealing alternative. Sounded like fun. So I went.

As soon as we left the school grounds, he lit up a smoke. And I had one too. And we descended into the housing trust area of Midlunga.

His house was a half of a housing trust maisonette. You see them in the Parks area of Adelaide or Port Augusta or Whyalla. I haven't seen them anywhere else, but if you know what they look like, you'd understand. And there was that smell in the air. The one that you can smell if you walk down Mersey Road on a summers night.

A cross between fish'n'chips, laundromats, burnt tea, burning eucalyptus wood and lounges that have been left on the veranda for more than one winter.

We went around the side of the house and threw our school bags through the window.

I asked why we didn't go through the door, but it seemed like a rhetorical question. The front door was dead bolted and the back screen hung on its hinges.

BEWARE OF DOG

As I slid through the back gate, I was beset upon by two of the largest dogs I have ever seen. I still don't know what they were, but they backed off when they heard the magic word

"Gitouuuuuuuuuuuuuttt"

So I went through the back door, and his dad was there stirring baked beans on an old gas stove. And he said little. He didn't ask why his son was home, just stood there stirring his beans and listening to the wireless. It was the first at Globe Derby Park. Or somesuch.

As I looked around and took it all in, there were holes in the carpet, and hadn't been washed since it was laid. Holes in the walls, and lots and lots of cats. The dogs circled me like sharks, growling and making me feel very uncomfortable.

Inside his room, there was a Led Zeppelin poster. The one from Houses of the Holy.
And a bong on the floor.

He fired up the Amiga and we had played a few games. I don't remember what they were but I was suitably impressed. I was still in very strange territory however. I had always wondered what it was like inside a poor persons house.

In my family, my mum would do housework everyday. Everything was clean and dusted. Three meals a day.

But this was totally different. I was intrigued. I wanted to experience it all, as wrong and as dirty as it felt.

"Have you ever tried this?"

And he produced a small pillow of greenery in a plastic J-bag.

"No", "What do you do with it?"

"Well you just smoke it through this."

So I tried it. And I sat there for a while, and we played some more Amiga.

"I don't think it's working, I don't feel anything"

And then in three minutes or less, I started to feel something. I had this pleasant buzzing in my mouth. Like I'd swallowed a mouthfull of bees. And I couldn't stop laughing. There was a dog in a nighting gown running across the computer screen like he was sleepwalking. With his arms out in front of him.

When you're a kid you think people do that when they sleepwalk.

"You should try this then."

And he produced a yellow bucket full of dirty looking water with a 2 litre coke bottle floating in side.

And he busied himself with it while I continued playing. It was that game where you were the driver of a stunt car, and you had to do vertical loops. Someone out there might remember it. It was in the arcade too I think.

Anyway, I took a toke of this Gravity bong or buckety as its known in the 'burbs.

And I don't know what happened after that.

My pulse rate went way up. I was jumping out of my own skin. People were talking to me, but I wasn't aware of what they were saying. I felt like i was in a cinema by myself watching everything happen around me on a giant screen.

I didn't want to be there all of a sudden. I didn't want to be anywhere. I just wanted it all to stop.

I got outside, and the winter sun was warm but there was a chill in the air. I walked towards my house, though I don't even know how I knew where I was going. Everything that I did required immense concentration.

There was a throbbing in my head. It felt like it was coming from the base of my spine and travelling up my neck into my pituitary gland. I had these visions that I was being impaled. On the devil's pitchfork. And I couldn't shake these thoughts.

As I walked down the street, I saw a woman with a pram. I saw an old couple. I was convincing myself that I was watching my life unfold before me. Like I was dead.

Like I was dead.

It suddenly dawned on me that I was dead.

Even though I wasn't.

But I couldn't help thinking that I might be. And with every thought, it seemed like the logical conclusion. And when you are in that state, you can't convince yourself otherwise. You just can't.

I cannot begin to express the terror that I felt at that moment. The regret,... it was overwhelming.

In hindsight, I think the fact that I had been to a Christian forum at my school recently had me thinking a bit about the metaphysical, and this was brought to

And I got home, and Mum was there, and everything was normal. I was relieved when she talked to me, because it confirmed in my mind somewhat that I might just be imagining things. Plus, I didn't want her to see me in this state, so I went to bed. And tried to sleep.

But the pictures kept repeating themselves in my mind. It was agony.

When I woke up, things had returned to normal somewhat. I was thirsty, and very cloudy. But I was somewhat relieved. Things seemed to be normal again. The only problem was I could never see things the same way again. I had been tarnished. And no matter what happened to me, there would always be that horror in the back of my mind.

For the next three months, I noticed things. And if things were different, I would be very suspicious.

"Didn't that tree used to be smaller?"

"Didn't the sun used to be higher in the sky?"

I don't know if anyone else could tell, but I was very suspicious and paranoid about everything.

I was restless, I always went for walks around the block just to check if everything was still as I remembered it.

One night I walked to a family friends house, and just lost it. I was a sobbing mess. And the more I tried to make them understand what I was feeling, the more they seemed to have no idea what I was talking about. And I cried for hours. I calmed down after awhile, and I had a cup of camomile. I was numb. And that felt so better than what I had been feeling for three weeks.

My mum came to get me at about 11pm that night. It was very embarassing and I couldn't explain to her what I was feeling.

The thing that I remember the most about that time is the music I was listening to. Pink Floyd - The dark side of the moon. I couldn't listen to that for years because it brought all the feelings back. All great tunes, but they were wasted on me.

I remember after this had happened sitting in a bath robe in the lounge looking at the dog and asking him pleadingly what was wrong with me. It wasn't fair. Here he was looking dumb and disinterested and yet totally content. I wanted to know how to be like him. I knew too much.

The psychiatrist prescribed me a little jar of blue tablets. And they worked amazingly. They brought me from the depths of despair back to reality. In a few weeks. I think how lucky I was.

It took me until I was in university to understand it better.

There was a guy in my class I remember, and in retrospect, I think he suffered from bi-polar syndrome. I remember seeing him one day, and he was manically happy. I had never seen him like that before, and I was amazed. He told me that he suffered from depression and I was shocked.

How can someone so depressed be this happy?

He told me he had been reading a book called "Feeling Good" by David Burns.

And I went out and bought it that day.

It was all about cognitive therapy and understanding the difference between your feelings and your emotions. And it teaches you how to disassociate what you think and what you feel. There's a bit of L Ron Hubbard about it for sure, but read it and then be the judge.

Anyway I found it very helpful, and I recommend it to anyone that suffers from depression. I don't want to spoil the ending.

But there are a lot of great books out there.

And I wonder what I would have been like if I hadn't gone to that house on that day. If I had gone to a different school...

It's changed my brain chemistry. For sure.

To think, I never even had a clue what depression was until this point. But now that I have seen it, I can't forget it. Not entirely.

And the funny thing is that you can be going along thinking that you have it beat, but it somehow tricks you into thinking that it is a part of you until you suddenly realize:

"Hang on, you haven't gone away at all have you?"

And he's back in there trying to ruin your life with his sly trickery and deception.

Now I have to spend the rest of my life trying to figure myself out again.

Well life was too easy anyway...

Fancy fone

2005-10-04T22:11:00.000+09:30

Here's a pic of my fancy new fone. But it's in black/silver. I kinda like the one in the pic though.

If you can be bothered, click on the link and you can read all the technorati.

It even has a built in kamera. Now I can post saucy pics ala Rupert.

Heh.

It's matter over mind for now

2005-09-29T18:45:00.000+09:30

It could be the fact that I'm working odd hours. 2pm - 10pm mostly, and then blogging/net surfing til 12. And doing the graveyard shift sitting behind a keyboard with mouse in hand means the only person I actually have meaningful conversation with is the checkout chick at Safeway when I stop in for a loaf of bread on the way home.

I don't know what unruly games the stars are playing of late, but I've been feeling a little out of sorts. And having the most bizarre thoughts.

Just like a bundle of protons and neutrons awash in a sea of electrons.

You know?

And I've been meaning to do something goodly for a while, so I headed off down to the blood bank just near where I work.

"Hi, I'm a vampire and I'd like to make a withdrawal."

"I'm sorry but we only collect blood here. Just fill out these forms."

So I filled them out and sat in the waiting room.

And I was hoping that they would ask me for my name. ("Ivana", I vanna suck your blood.) And they did, but I wisely thought to keep that one for the blog. No point giving away all your best material. And it was a tough crowd.

In the screening process they ask you if you have lived in England from anytime between 1980 and 1996. That made me laugh, because if I had, they wouldn't have accepted my blood. They say it's to do with Mad cow disease, but I think there's more to it than that.

I went into the first waiting room where they had to check if my haemoglobin was ok.
And they pricked my third finger and squeezed a little blob out. Stuck it in a machine, and waited for the results.

My count was a little low, so they tried the other hand. Apparently your counts can vary a little in different parts of your anatomy.

So after I passed that test (It was a little close) I graduated to the big chair where they milk you of your nectar.

Well my nurse was named Juliette. And she was gorgeous. She was probably late thirties or early forties, but the way she smiled and talked about things and busied herself with her various equipment. Mmmmmm. I was going to ask if she had a Romeo, but I guess that's just too obvious right?

Have I mentioned before that I want to marry a nurse when I grow up? Or a waitress or an air hostess? I love the way they fluff your pillows and make sure you are comfy and fuss over you. Plus the outfits are great.

So I lay in the chair and pumped out a pint through a needle the size of a biro.

"If anyone asks, it took you 11 minutes to fill the bag"

"Is that good?"

And she looked genuinely impressed.

I think I could do better than that though. If I knew it was a race, I would have squeezed a little harder.

I reckon I can clear 10 minutes next time.

And it was over just like that. So I went and had a glass of orange juice, a couple of party pies for my efforts. I also noticed that they had Bonox. Apparently it's a beef flavoured drink. I politely declined, but the lady told me she'd give me one next time I came in.

Yummy.

So I feel a little better having done something nice, not to mention a little light-headed. I saved four lives apparently. I wonder who the lucky recipients of my DNA will be?

The difference between boys and girls

2005-09-25T13:07:00.000+09:30

Look at my eyes
my hair
My perfect gap-toothed
Smile

My boyfriend loves
Me
But he's in Sydney

And the 22 year old
Boy from work
That I shagged in a moment
Of weakness
Keeps ringing me

He's sweet and I can
See us being together
But he's just
Too
Keen...

You know?...

And I don't want
To commit
To
Anything

Cause I'm afraid
Of
Getting hurt
Again

What do you think?

Me,

Well...

I never gave a shit
about money,
career;
and power
means nothing to me

But a cute ass says plenty

And...

Confidence is just
a mask
Hiding the ugliness of
whatever
insecurities
Might stop you
getting
Laid

Injustice

2005-09-23T18:07:00.000+09:30

I was laying on my back much in the same way as I was last night. But it was so very different.

The girl was on top with her legs spread apart, and her heels were digging painfully into my thighs. As she rode up and down in reckless abandon, I was left to catch her weight in the palms of my hands and hold on, as with each thrust another wave of sludge coated my balls.

Her rubber-like nipples brushed moistly over my chest and she purred softly in my ear.

"Fuck me"

And I did, although it was more the other way around.

When she would come, it was so beautiful, because I would always lose it too. And we would hold each other as we were both lost in our own pleasure. Yet still as close as two people could be.

As I lay in the motel room in Swan Hill that night, I thought about the injustice of it all.

Last night, it felt like there was a squirrel doing backflips in my pants. With nary enough space to swing a cat.

No rest for the wicked.

2005-09-19T23:11:00.000+09:30

The size of a counter meal is inversely proportional to the distance from the nearest capital city.

Last week was spent in various motel rooms, and eating at pubs and bakeries. The Kerang Hotel has great counter meals. The chicken with cream and mustard was a special.

I was greatly relieved to get home on Friday night to find that everything had more or less returned to normal at home.

But the homesickness is starting to creep in. Perhaps it's when I stop and think. And when the weather is poor.

So Saturday night, I went to the local for Atlantic salmon cutlets, and ended up dancing a Salsa at Copacabana with a Columbian girl that spoke little English.

Yep. I didn't see it coming either.

I have also finally got around to looking for a new gym.

And tomorrow, I'm back out on the road again for the rest of the week.

Goody.

Always go out on a high

2005-09-11T21:05:00.000+09:30

Well, we might just put that weekend behind us eh?

After a hectic Saturday alternately devising plans to encourage former flatmate to evacuate the premises with a minimum of damage and theft of property, I didn't particularly feel like going out. I rang the bedding girl to ensure that we were still up for things, but she was serving a customer or something. I was told she would call back, but I didn't know if she had my number.

I gave it some time and called back, but the shop was closed I guess.

So flatmate arrives home, and after loading numerous boxes into the back of her boyfriends Subaru, putting a dent in the plaster in our stairway, and somehow dismantling the clothesline, I feel even less like going anywhere.

I was glad that I did however, so I walked into the city and after chowing at a Chinese restaurant, I didn't get there til 11.

I was a little afraid to go in because I could hear music playing, but everyone was sitting down to watch like a concert.

I took a program and went outside, there was a girl with long brown hair sitting on the kerb writing in a notebook. She looked up at me with big brown eyes, and I asked her

"Is it safe to go in?"

She looked a little puzzled and replied.

"Yes, you just walk in and pay on the left, there is a girl that will take your money."

"Oh, okay, I was just a bit worried that the stage would be right there, and everyone would see me and I would be interrupting."

"Oh. So you're not an exhibitionist."

She was cute.

"Well,... I wouldn't say that,... It's just that I haven't been here before and I don't want to start throwing my weight around... Alright well thanks."

And I went inside.

Cat Empire weren't playing, but some other jazz ensemble. It was a great little club. The sort of smoky dimly lit place that would be great to see John Lee-Hooker or BB King or any of those. But not smoky.

I cast my eyes around and tried to decipher some familiar faces amongst the packed room. Nothing.

So I went up and sat at the bar and had a couple of drinks. And the brown-haired brown-eyed girl walked by and smiled and put her hand on my back.

And I smiled at her, but somewhat nervously. I still couldn't see the girl from the store.

What do I do now?

After some of the people left during the interval, I had a look around and it was quite obvious that she wasn't there.

I sat back down. A hand was on my leg just above my knee.

"So it wasn't that scarey then?"

"No, it was fine. This is a great little spot you have here."

The brown-eyed girl was apparently the manager of the place. She served behind the bar, but also seemed to know the musicians also, and clapped loudly between songs.

She went off to pick up glasses and busy herself with other duties that you would pertain as a manageress of a nightclub.

This was an unexpected turn, and I was really tired, and somewhat drunk, and just couldn't be bothered trying to compute things. So I fell off my stool and made for the exit. I waved bye and walked home.

Yeah, I know.

In bed by 1.30.

I'll definitely go back there though, it was pretty cool.

No blogging this week, out of town.

On a brighter note, Meatbeaters will be playing in Melbourne in November.

Henry, get out of the helicopter

2005-09-09T20:58:00.000+09:30

Well it's 9.30 on a Friday night and I'm still at work.

Noice.

I have to get things prepared for my field trip next week.

I'll be between Bendigo and Swan Hill in rural Victoria, so give me a wave if you see me about the place. I'll be sampling the bakeries and pubs in the area, as you understand my search for the perfect custard tart continues.

Actually the bakery on the main street of Seymour was quite good last time, I recommend that you all go there. They do some wonderful gourmet pies too.

Well last weekend as I was extremely hungover from a massive night of drinking these delightful beverages, I went in to pick up my new red lamp which had just arrived in my favourite bedroom retailer.

If I haven't already told you, I am doing my bedroom up. It's not very big, but it's mine, and it is my mission to make it the most luxurious and decadent of all bedrooms.

I am going to fill it with cushions and lamps and possibly purple velvet cloth draped over the walls. A veritable fire hazard? I understand, but we all have to make sacrifices in the name of luxury.

So as I was making my purchase, I was discussing my plans with the sparkly eyed rather cute salesgirl, and she was getting all excited finding me cushions to buy. As she climbed to the top of a fixture to get one, I noticed in passing that she had an equally cute arse.

And we were chatting away, and she gave me a big class of water to calm my throbbing... head, and I got to meet her boss, and everything.

And she gave me some good prices, and then in true "friendly Melbourne person that is very friendly" style invited me out to some little club in the back roads of Melbourne. All very casual and matter-of-fact. So I may be going to see Cat Empire tomorrow night. Even though I think I might not like it. I may quite possibly loathe it (the band that is). But hopefully the company will make up for it.

I just don't know that going to see a crap band is a good place for a 'first-date' if indeed that is what it is. Going to the movies is also a bad first-date option. You just kind of sit there, and don't interact. Unless you're into just making out.

I don't know. Any ideas?

And another thing is that I spent so much money on cushions that I don't really have any left for going out. Haha.

Aaah... the vicissitudes of life.

I'm going home now. I guess that means I'll be in on Sunday finishing what I was meant to do today.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Last night....

2005-09-06T21:50:00.000+09:30

I dreamed of a girl.

She was perfect.

Coolness, sirs!

2005-09-05T18:48:00.000+09:30

Meet my new friends!

L-R: Jerry Steiner, Parker Lewis, Mike Randall

Well... If you haven't seen Parker Lewis Can't Lose, you don't know what you are missing out on.

It isn't released officially on dvd, but somehow, Carly managed to find me the entire first season on a homemade dvd!

Kudos to Carly!

Have I mentioned how much she rules lately....?

Do I need this?

2005-09-05T18:29:00.000+09:30

I have 2 housemates. I haven't spoken much about them because I hardly see them.

It's because I rock'n'roll all night, and party every day.

Anyway, my two housemates don't get along. Lets call them C and R. And I will be A.

Anyway, R will be moving out at the end of the week, and I was meant to give R her bond. However, I had to give the bond to C first because she handles the rent side of things.

Now things get a little tricky because R had to pay for her new bond at her new place, but because C doesn't trust her, she wouldn't give R her bond until after she moves out.

Fair enough too, because that's the whole point of having a bond. To make sure that people don't shoot through and leave you in the lurch. And the guy that lived with them before me did exactly the same thing. So it's fair that some people are a bit cautious about that sort of thing.

So I'm upstairs brushing my teeth on a Saturday morning, and I say good morning to C as she heads downstairs. I can smell gunpowder in the air.

"Bond".

Says R's boyfriend indignantly at the bottom of the stairs. His arms folded and tapping his fingers on his arm.

"I'll give R her bond when she pays the bills and moves out." says C.

And there is the spark.

The next thing I know, words are flying around the house... C is yelling at R calling her a princess. R's boyfriend is standing over C trying to intimidate her into giving R the money, calling her a thief, R is quite silent throughout the whole ordeal, but offering 'bitch' as a consolation.

It's not really what you want in your house.

So I go downstairs, and R's boyfriend is offering to steal C's fridge and washing machine in revenge for not giving him the bond.

Nice.

Then they try to get me involved.

"It's A's money anyway, and he said that we could have it."

But I have none of it. It's funny how some peoples true colours are revealed when money is involved.

Eventually a compromise is reached. C will give R half of the bond. The rest will be given back when the bills are paid.

So everyone is happy.

Sort of.

Our new housemate is B. She will move in in a couple of weeks provided everything works out with this old one. Then it will be A, B and C.

Easy.

The Mystery of the orange vegetable

2005-09-02T22:17:00.000+09:30

I had a rather funny time at the Safeway* today.

I was standing in the express checkout waiting to purchase my bread rolls and can of soup when I noticed the lady in front of me sheepishly put something orange on the conveyor belt thing where you put your food.

It was a carrot. But not just any old carrot.

It was the perfect carrot.

Not quite as long as a ruler but definitely longer than a cd. And it was perfectly straight. And instead of tapering at the tip, as would a normal carrot, it had a bulbous end. Such a carrot would have to be a one-in-a-million carrot. I've seen many carrots but this one was definitely special.

And as I stood there with my soup and my bread rolls, I grinned knowingly, or un-knowingly as the case may have been.

"40 cents", said the checkout girl.

A bargain I would reckon.

I'd seen similarly shaped devices in the shop next door for $40.

"And would you like a bag for your carrot?"

Now it didn't really require a bag. But, either the checkout girl was asking as part of her spiel,... or she recognized its obscenity and knew what was going on.

Either way, she revealed nothing. Not even the twinkling of an eye.

So the lady took the bag and fished around in her purse for the exact change. The offensive vegetable was stuffed in a plastic bag and the lady trudged off home or someplace where she could be alone with the carrot.

So did the lady go into the store just to buy one carrot? Or was it impulse buying?

I guess such perfectly shaped vegetables are impossible to walk past.

And what became of the carrot?

I bet it will turn up on eBay.

* Safeway = Melbourne equivalent of Woolworths.

The 86

2005-09-01T22:55:00.000+09:30

I saw an old man on the tram, who reminded me of another old man who looked and sounded like Detective Senior Sargeant O'Riley from Cop Shop.

"Baker!"

"Ah,... Yes, Detective Senior Sargeant O'Riley?"

"Where are those reports?"

"Ah,... I am just trying to get the new computer set up, Detective Senior Sargeant."

"Computers eh?...", and he would take of his bi-focals and chew pensively on the arm.
"Sounds like a waste of time to me... You just make sure you get those reports to me. I want them on my desk first thing Monday morning!"

"Ah,... yes sir, Detective Senior Sargeant."

And then Linda Stoner would walk on, sporting legs that could only end in my dreams.

The driver sounded like Darth Vader with an Italian accent.

"Next Stop, Ex-hi-bi-tion Street." "Now you will know the Dark side."

"Swan-ston Walk,... the Alliance will under-estimate the Emperor's powers."

And I looked over at the old man. As the train ground to a halt outside one of Melbourne's many venues, the doors flung open and a blast of the night air washed over us as if someone had thrown a bucket of water.

Some diva was wailing about shaking her ass in-between the perfunctory beats of the doof-doof music.

A little further up the aisle, a man had collapsed on himself in the throes of drunken slumber. Vodka and raspberry spilled a trail down the length of the carriage, and the empty bottle rolled between his feet. The passenger opposite studied him nervously, hoping that his shoes would be lucky. And that the drunk man's head didn't end up in his lap from any sudden braking.

I watched the old man.

He had a look on his face like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

This would never happen in his day.

A good time was standing around the piano singing saucy sea shanties and drinking cups of tea. And taking his partner to the dance where he would bring her home by 11, and if he played his cards right, a kiss on the cheek before heading home with a neatly folded handkerchief as a momento of his sojourn.

The tram pulled away. Even though the tracks led to Bundoora, and I was getting off in a few stops, the old man didn't know where we were all headed.

Not dead,... but only just

2005-08-27T13:42:00.000+09:30

I've been away all this week visiting trainlines between Broadmeadows and Seymour, just north of Melbourne.

Just thought you'd like to know.

I'm not dead or anything, but I feel like it warmed between two slices of vienna bread.

I've been living in assorted motels with my motivated work colleague. Getting up at the crack of dawn. The weather in the first part of the week was quite bad, and coincided nicely with the onset of my latest cold/ flu.

I am afraid of her.

You know the sort of person.

Listens to Triple M religiously.

Has problems with me eating custard tarts.

And sucking the remnants of tomato sauce from those little squeezy packets.

Owns and operates 8 horses.

And is the perfect example of a hardworking career minded intellect.

Try to forget.... Try to forget....

And then I go to the Airport and pick up Carly for her visit to the land of MMMMMMMMM

She gives me a triple set of Parker Lewis DVDs, and that makes her rule.

She is the best. The best of all the best.

And is good in bed.

And good out of bed.

And good beside the bed.

Poetry overload

2005-08-15T11:02:00.000+09:30

I've been enjoying the events of the Overload poetry festival here in Melbourne.

Last night I ventured down to the Tote for the Poets breakfast. I almost didn't go on account that I have been feeling like shit lately, and the weather is fucked and stuff. But it also gave me an opportunity to drop off a Meatbeaters cd to try and organise some gigs for the band. So I went.

My favourite was a cute blonde girl (I think her name was Briohny Doyle). And her poems had a great mix of raunch and good humour. And she was cute so that always helps.

I also liked Justin Heazlewood, but all the artists were good in one way or another. I was sad to learn that Kami had already gone back to Adelaide, because I'd always wanted to see him, and it would have been nice to see a familiar face.

Any way it was all pretty entertaining, so tonight I'll be at the Noise Bar for more.

I'm such a groupie.

Touche turtle

2005-08-13T13:43:00.000+09:30

Last night after work, I went to see Gemnastics at the poetry reading thing at Salon Kitty. Twas good, and i went up and speaked to her after wards.

When I got there, the place was pretty much empty but for the barkeeper, and I speaked to him. So he was telling me stories about how he was a dancer in Las Vegas and also for the big names in showbiz like Tina Turner and Madonna and stuff. And he was quite blase about it all, and I had a glass of red wine and it was good to hear his things.

And then I watched the show And then I got sleepy from the wine, cos wine does that to me.

And Gemmy, she was nice, just like I imagined more or less, though they never are, and I was having a nice chat with her afterward about her blog and things, and then her male poetry man friend came over and then they went back someplace. And I was there alone again.

So that was that, and I ended up at a yiros joint looking at my reflection in the mirror before I walked home about 2km probly, and I was pissed and cold, and wondered why I drink at all. I just get sleepy, and noone likes a sleepy head. In that circumstance.

And then I got to thinking how I felt annoyed about things, and how I don't like to feel annoyed cos I kind of feel obligated to do things, and I don't wanna feel obligated. And I don't know how to feel about anything and how I like you in theory and how I could never be with you and despite having a cool job and everything that maybe I don't like people, and how it's just such an effort, and I kind of don't want to make any effort, but I do.

Then I went to sleep. And I got a cramp in my leg during the night. And I thought how fucked that was, and how if I hadn't been drinking it wouldn't have happened. And dehydrated, and yukky, and then i had a shower and had my egg and lettuce sandwich that I bought yesterday. And then I talked with my flatmate about some things and how we didn't like the other flatmate much, and thats ok because she is moving out soon. And we will be putting the ad in the paper soon and I hope we get a good one this time, but we will be interviewing in a couple of weeks.

But I will be going back to see Gemmy again tonite maybe. And I will do the whole thing again...

Touche turtle.

Blog filler

2005-08-11T22:43:00.000+09:30

I'm going through a bit of a blog downer at the moment, so here is a list to keep you all entertained. All three of you...

I stole this from another blog. But I thought I'd change the answers to suit me. Brainy huh? (adjusts pencil behind ear)

name: Adrian
shoe size: 9 US
siblings: An older brother, a younger brother and younger sister
born: Canberra ACT.
favorite place: somewhere warm outside, the beach
favorite soda: club lemon
favorite food: thai/ malaysian/ indian/ bangers and mash/ just about anything
favorite pen: i love clutch pencils. I have a set of three tikky ones that are made by rotring in Germany. Awesome (How sad that I have more to say about pens than any of the other questions)
favorite car: Peugeot 306 (i have one!) , and I also like the old Mustangs, Monaros and Aussie Muscle cars from the 60s and 70s. Don't like Commodores though, too common and boring.
favorite animal: Kitties
water brand: melbourne tap water
favorite burger place: Hungry Georges at St Kilda! Don't have them much though
favorite hobby: music
favorite friends: Darren, Carly
bar or club: I like the Bombay in Adelaide, and the Union Club in Melbourne
gold or silver: silver
favorite dog: quiet ones that are so old they don't jump all over you
cell phone co.:Optus
favorite shirt: Guns don't kill people, I kill people/ I'm with stupid
favorite sport: rowing
favorite alcohol: red wine, Coopers beer. Wild turkey
favorite computer: commodore 64
favorite fruit: mango
favorite song: at the moment "My Eyes" Screaming Believers. And also Grey Cell Green by the Neds
favourite show: Parker Lewis Can't Lose
favorite milkshake: Chocolate
steak or lobster: steak
favorite color: green
favorite weather: warm, sunny or warm overcast, but definitely warm.
favorite states: SA, Vic, WA maybe?

Have you ever:

have a crush on someone: Always
wish you could live somewhere else: I am!! YAY!
think about suicide: briefly, but usually someone elses (heh!)
believe in online dating: in theory it's a great idea.
think others find you attractive: maybe some, but it's never the ones you want and they wouldn't tell me anyway.
want more piercings: no
like cleaning: i like vaccuuming but hate cleaning bathrooms and washing clothes
like roller coasters: i like those things less as I get older
write in cursive or print: print
last talked to: work colleague
last thought of: work stuff
last showered: this morning
last cut your nails: today! I can't believe my luck. Now it sounds like I'm really taking care of myself It had been a while though.
last did laundry: last week
last hugged a tree: working in Kuitpo forest. I had to measure it. Hah!
last watched anime: only the porn ages ago.
last prayed: on the plane to Adelaide last weekend.

for or against?
long distant relationships: Against. But sexual relationships are a different story
killing people: In theory Against, but sometimes you wonder?
teenage smoking: Against, where are you gonna find rolly papers big enough to fit a teenager inside?
driving drunk: Against
gay/lesbian relationships: For, not that there's anything wrong with it.
soap operas: AGAINST!, except for some,.. maybe. Like Chances.

have you?
ever cried over a boy: Never!
ever cried over a girl: Yes
ever been in a fist fight: No, I always slap and pull hair. (Joke)
ever been arrested: No
ever had a friend die: No
ever dated a cousin: No, but it'd be nice.
ever used a gun: not for its intended purpose
ever french kiss: wie wie my little kitten
ever finished a puzzle: Yes often
ever got surgery: yes, adenoids removed
ever got beat up: when i was 7 , I got flipped over a kids head. He did judo, I didn't know.
ever hated someone: Yes, but only if they deserve it.
ever made a huge mistake: Yes and plenty of small ones
ever tried any drugs: Say no to drugs, mmkay, drugs are bad.
ever jogged a mile: Maybe close to it
ever played w/ someones feelings: Yes but not intentionally
ever had feelings for someone younger: yep, sure

what?
shoes do you wear: red chuck taylors
do you sleep in: just undies.
did you eat for lunch: egg pasta with bacon and mushroom in a cream sauce with spinach, snowpea shoots and ricotta
is love: a dog from hell!

Number..
of times I have had my heart broken?: just the once seriously, and plenty of times otherwise
of hearts I have broken?: none I hope
of girls I have kissed?: probably about 20 or so
of guys/girls you've rejected? can probably count on one hand
of drugs you taken: not many mainly just alcohol.
of accidents you been in: 3
of people you lead on?: At the moment hopefully 0

Are you:
funny: I have made people laugh in the past.
hot: Yes,.... yes I am
friendly: Only to people that aren't competitive with me.
ugly: I wouldn't go that far.
lovable: definitely
caring: only about things that I care about
dorky: you read about the pencils, right?
cocky: I just dance like one.
girly: Haven't got the legs for it. Or maybe i have.
boyish: Yes, on account that I have a penis.
smart: Yes, but sometimes I can have bad days and overlook something really simple.
a pimp: I wish.
an angel: nope
a gangster: I'm packin my uzi right now. Word to the mother.
god: Yes, I believe that I am.... A god.

favorite?
five letter word: ameba
comedian: Bill Cosby, Dave Callan, Ali G. Not Trevor Marmalade.
candy: turkish delight.
cartoon: The amazing adventures of Ed Grimley
cereal: weetbix
chewing gum: extra green
day of week: sat nights, sunday
Least fave day: Wash the bathroom day
jello flavor: red
summer/winter: summer of 69. Oh yeah
trampolines or swimming pools: tramapolines

person who last?
slept in your bed: me! I just bought a new one yesterday. Smell the freshly cut timber. Feel the finely polished surfaces...
saw you cry: some anonymous people on Rundle Street
made you cry: Bec.
you went to the movies with: Rebecca from work. It was StarWars.
yelled at you: Bec again
sent you an email: Carly

have you ever?
said "i love you" and meant it?: yes'm
gone out in public in your pajamas?: If you mean my undies then no. If you mean my sisters undies then yes.
kept a secret from everyone?: Of course.
cried during a movie?: yes, funnily enough. Riding in Cars with Boys.
ever at anytime owned new kids on the block?: hahahahahahaaaaa,.... no
planned your week based on the TV Guide?: when I was like 15.
been on stage?: Yes, I'm a born performer. Like Bruce Springsteen.
been to New York?: nope, but I will.
been to California?: nope, but I will again.
been to Florida?: Would like to. Is sunny Acapulco in Florida? I'd like to go there.
Hawaii?: Not interested.
China?: No, not intrested
Canada?: Not really interested, but have heard nice things.
Europe?: No, but will definitely go!
what time is it now?: 10.50 pm
apples or bananas?: bananas
red or blue? blue
walmart or target?: kmart
spring or fall?: spring
what are you gonna do after you finish this ? Maybe get a bite to eat, and go home to bed.
what was the last meal you ate? sushi at GoGo on Swanston Street
are you bored?: no
last noise you heard? triple j (not by choice)
last smell you sniffed: the irish girl from work that smells like my aunt. hahahahahahaha
last time you went out of state/province? the weekend

friendship/love
do you believe in love at first sight?:yes, definitely
do you want children one day & if so, how many?: Maybe. Just one or two if any. There are already way too many people in the world. Like rats,... we humans. But if there were going to be more I would prefer them to be mine, so I can mould them in my image.
most important thing to you in a friendship is?: trust
criminal record?: probably not. see last question.

do you speak any other languages?: no
name some of your favorite things in your bedroom: bed, cds, books, computer
piercings and where?:none
worst feeling in the world?: growing old, depression, feeling sick
whom you love: friends
nickname(s): dogs, doogs, A4,
how old do you look?: HAR HAR. 12
how old do you act?: Late adolescent, early adult, modern contemporary. Just plain weirdo, but not like Michael Jackson.
glasses/contacts?: Long distance
braces: Red ones. Got told by my work supervisor to take them off or I would be sent home from work because the boss didn't like them and they didn't fit dress code. I told her "If I take them off, my pants may fall down at any moment. Would you rather I worked without pants?"
Good thing I don't work there any more! Creeps!
do you have any pets? No, just GreyBags
you get embarrassed? Not really (blushes)
what upsets you?: Idiots, competitive people, insecure people, people that try to fuck you over because they are scared of something.

T is for taxi

2005-08-08T22:17:00.000+09:30

Ngabje had a point.

I got in the taxi and said to him, "Smith St, Collingwood thanks." He just looked at me for a few seconds and slowly nodded, before turning his head and pulling out into Spencer St. We drove through the city in silence. I don't talk much in taxis anyway, so I just looked out the window and watched the people. There was a card on the dashboard with a photo of the dark man and his registration number and name in CAPITAL letters. NGABJE 5463829 or something.

As we stopped at a light, I peeked at him from out of the corner of my eye. It was a little unsettling. His eyes remained focussed on the road, and he gripped the steering wheel tightly. He wore a big coat. Kind of reminded me of the one that Eddie Murphy wore in that movie Coming to America. I wondered if he was a prince in Namibia or somewhere and he had come over to find a Queen to take back to his palace.

But he was engrossed in the radio.

It was tuned to ABC, and they were discussing terrorism. Again. Apparently there are about sixty known militant terrorists residing in Australia. And technology is so advanced now that these terrorists are using Google earth to plan attacks on Australia's nuclear power stations. And other goodies. And that's not cool. Apparently.

It wasn't until we were nearly there that Ngabje spoke. I guess he was from some African nation, but he sounded almost Jamaican. His voice was deep and rich.

"You know, I'm going to get that Google Earth on my laptop."

He turned and looked at me.

"I could never understand why I would want to use a program to look at a bunch of house roofs. But now it makes sense."

"Yeah,.. and I bet you would never have even thought about it if you hadn't been given the idea by the media." I laughed out loud.

Then I had visions of Ngabje driving his taxi filled with explosives into one of Australias favourite nuclear installations. Setting his meter, whilst balancing his laptop on his knee.

Maybe there are 60 known militant terrorists in Australia. But I bet there are 60,000 militant taxi drivers out there with nothing to lose, and a full tank of petrol.

And surely that is more dangerous.

I thought I read that taxi-drivers were banned from discussing politics. But maybe I dreamed it. Ngabje continued on...

"You know human beings are destroying themselves. It will all be over soon."

I guess spending all day listening to the media, you get a bit involved.

"And you know the internet, that has caused a lot of trouble. They should pull the whole thing down you know."

I thought about that for a while.

Taxi drivers. They know everything.

Coincidence is either hit or miss

2005-08-03T17:54:00.000+09:30

I'd just gotten off the phone from Carly and cooked myself a rump steak when I headed off for work on my bicycle. I stopped off at the bank to see if my credit limit had been extended. Of course it hadn't... yet... And I continued on my way. It's been a beautiful couple of days here with lovely sunshine,.. and I pedalled through the city to my place of work in South Melbourne.

As I was nearing my destination, I pulled up at a red light and waited for the light to change when I saw a very familiar looking girl crossing the road. I thought nothing of it, and when the green came I pedalled off looking over my shoulder trying to get a better look at her without making it look too obvious.

She was looking at me too, and I slowed my bike down and scrunched up my face trying to improve my vision. I have perfect 10/20 vision when I squint.

"....Flora?"

"....Adrian?"

Flora was one of the students at the dancing place that I used to teach at. I never expected to see her here three years later in Melbourne.

So anyway, long story cut short, She and her partner Andrew have moved down to Southbank to further their careers... ( I think I've started something here). They are both lovely people, and being new to Melbourne, they are looking for a place to continue their dancing.

That's a coincidence, I am too. So we exchanged numbers and I continued on my way as I was running late. But it was quite random, the whole thing.

It'll be interesting to see what happens. Maybe I will have some friends here after all!

Listless

2005-08-02T14:55:00.000+09:30

Ha, the server is down at work, so I have time to blog without feeling guilty...

Long time readers may recall this list that I wrote at the beginning of the year:

Well let me tell you, three of them have been achieved, and five of them are well on the way to nearing completion. I haven't played my guitar for a while, because I need a tuner, and I can't be arsed getting one.

It's nice to think that I have been able to achieve those things so quickly, because when I wrote the list, it seemed a little out of reach.

So let that be a lesson to all you weirdos out there. That if you want things to happen badly enough, and you are totally committed to making them happen, you can change them.

The only problem is now, that I need a new list. And I'm still not content. But I feel like I'd like to step back and watch for a while. I guess when you get on the treadmill, it's very hard to just jump off without your legs turning to jelly and collapsing underneath you. You just have to keep on running...

So when the server goes down again, I might get time to think of a new list. Oh and there's that 100 things list I've been promising. And the shopping list for the week...

Thankyou to faerie for cheering me up last night. There's nice things headed your way. I posted them this afternoon...

The day before payday

2005-07-28T17:36:00.000+09:30

Well here I am in my office. I've just finished a days work. In the morning I had my track safety course down in the Footscray rail yards. And I was standing with the rest of the class watching a 3000 hp diesel locomotive passing through the yard, when the driver opened his window and looked down at us. "Now be sure to write", he announced in his 18th century blacksmith accent. And continued on towards Geelong or Adelaide or wherever the hell he was going. Those trains are bloody big. It's not until you are standing right beside one that you realise it. And they can be quiet too. You really have to have your wits about you.

Reminds me of the times when I would scull down in the Port River. And it would be dusk, and late in the summer. Days were long but my strokes were longer. The oars would dip in the waters of glass. And the bow would pierce the calm. And it required such concentation and such effort that you would lose all sense of time and space and become one with your craft.

And then I would get a sense of something dark and foreboding, and as I turned over my left shoulder, I would see it, no more than 50 metres away. A grain tanker. Twenty stories of solid iron drifting silently up the channel. Right towards me.

Checking the oars, I made for the opposite bank, and almost falling out in panic, I laughed loudly to myself that I had come so close to disaster... again...

So I have about 2 dollars to my name and I have to walk home tonight as I don't have a fare for the tram. And I don't particularly want to mow anyones lawn (Melbourne joke). I think Nunchukka Superfly are playing tonite at the Espy, and I can't see them due to the fact that I am broke, but I believe they will be at the RobRoy on Saturday night, so I will go there instead. And it's just around the corner! But it's nice out,... a little cold, yet it's nice to know that tomorrow, I shant have any worries about money.

Plus we have an office puttputt and pizza nite tomorrow here at Groove Terminator laboratories. So I really have no reason to complain at all.

Faerie poem

2005-07-23T16:35:00.000+09:30

To little faerie cold in bed,
Do not worry your pretty head,
I will chat when the clock strikes 8
And warm you up, when the hour is late

Assignment 2

2005-07-22T19:13:00.000+09:30

For Joanne C, my life story in three paragraphs.
Enjoy!

15 years ago (1990)

I was 11, living in Whyalla, and doing Year 12 for the first time. My dad accelerated me through the school system, and made me study every night when I got home from school. I used school as an escape from all the shit that was going on at home, and used to do absolutely nothing except talk to my friends. I failed every single subject, and my dad was furious with me. This made him try even harder, and everytime I failed a test, I remember I would hide it in a cupboard or somewhere around the school, rather than bring it home where he would ask to see it. I remember one day, my dad was called into the school and was presented with the tests that the school co-ordinator had collected from various hidey holes. He was so embarrassed, and furious! I copped a real hiding that day.
I also remember being banned from study lessons for pinning up a picture of a naked woman on the wall after being dared by a friend. Aaah those were the days! Despite the fact that my home life was pretty miserable, the time that I spent at school were the happiest of my life. There were some great people at my school, and
I also remember the first girl I ever had eyes for, Joanne. She was in my Biology and German classes, and I would spend all lesson glancing in her direction, with my stomach tied in knots.
This was also the year that my parents separated, and I moved to Adelaide where I lived with my mum and returned to 'semi-normal schooling'.

10 years ago (1995)

I started Year 12 for the second time. I was distracted however, and left part-way through the first semester to work my first job in a department store selling sports shoes and equipment. It was fun to be earning some money, and I would spend it all on records and cds. In my spare time, I was riding my bike and rowing to keep fit, but I was also spending a lot of time drinking with friends at barbeques and going to the local pub. My friends were all about 5 years older than I was, and we would spend balmy Sunday afternoons watching the one day cricket and getting absolutely blind. We would listen to a lot of punk music and spent the whole time having a blast.

5 years ago (July 2000)

I had just returned from my first sojourn overseas where I went to Singapore, Sumatra and Malaysia. It was a field trip for my University studies, and I spent 10 days living with the natives in the forests of Indonesia. It was unreal, and it gave me a huge insight into how big the world was. I was looking for work to try to pay off the loan for the trip, and went for jobs as a real estate agent, and sales until I got a job as a dance instructor, teaching ballroom, latin and South American styles of dance. I had never danced before, and was given 6 months free training before I started.

2 years ago (July 2003)

I was going out with Rebecca, a girl that I had met through rowing. She was 17 and still at school, and I was 24, had graduated from Uni, was still living at home with Mum, and was looking for work in a very half-arsed way. I had no real direction, or motivation. My days involved getting up, watching Bert Newton, driving down to Chinatown for "$5 All you can eat", then waiting til Bec got home from school, and spending all my time with her. I was totally in love with her, and we blew each other away because we were both so different. But I guess in hindsight, there was no way it could have worked out. But we both gave it our best shot. I put on about 10 kilos during this time just enjoying myself and getting homely.

1 year ago (July 2004)

It was just before Bec went overseas. A very upsetting time. We were fighting continually about stupid things. Mainly she was upset with me because I didn't do anything , and she was working like a dog with her dad doing concreting to save for her trip. She would come home absolutely wrecked and I would be sitting around doing nothing but playing on the computer. She couldn't understand how I couldn't want to better myself, but I was happy just being with her. I couldn't understand why she was working so hard just to get angry with everything. After she left, I became a different person. I lost 15 kilos because I was so depressed and had no idea what to do. I had given everything to this girl, and now I was totally vacant.

Yesterday

Thursday. Rode my bike to work, and mapped away merrily for 8 hours, before riding home and watching England pound Austalia in the Ashes. (It's cricket)

Today

Friday. What? I thought it was Thursday. That explains why everyone in the office is in casuals. This morning I bought a present for Faerie, and will send it to her soon! I also sprang for a haircut. Beth, you did a great job, my dear. And I am now working late because I am on shift work now. While I should be out having fun.

Tomorrow

Saturday, my day of rest. I'll probably go somewhere that I haven't been before. Try a different restaurant (So many to choose from) and catch up with emails and stuff.

5 snacks I enjoy

2-minute Noodles, Vili's pasties, frozen yoghurt, Vietnamese cold meat rolls, cashews

5 songs I know the words to even w/out the music

Anything by the Ramones, the Beatles, or U2

5 games I like

chess, spider solitaire, scrabble, draughts, chinese checkers

5 albums that changed my life (Too hard, but anyway)

U2 - Rattle and Hum (They'd all be U2, but that's too easy), Minutemen - Double Nickels on the Dime, Hard-ons - Dateless Dudes Club, Sebadoh - Bakesale, Captain Beefheart - Trout Mask Replica

5 things I would buy w/one Thousand Dollars

A new pair of jeans or two, some poetry books, new cds/records, some gloves, and a lapdance(?)

My top 5 guilty pleasures

Turkish Delight, lengthy hot showers, thai/ vietnamese/ indian food, bangers and mash, shepherds pie

5 top musicians lately (who's in the cd player)

Screaming Believers (on the turntable), Sugar - Copper Blue, Hard-ons - This Terrible Place, PiL - Album, i:cube - Adore

Top 5 locations I would like to run away to

San Francisco, LA, The Kimberleys, Spain, Portugal

5 things I would never wear

The blame, a nappy, leather hotpants, a g-string, a horse

5 TV shows I like

Seinfeld, South Park, MASH, Barney Miller, Happy Days.

Assignment 1

2005-07-22T18:23:00.000+09:30

Ok Faerie, my hotmail account is coming soon, i promise!

Trainspotting

2005-07-20T13:25:00.000+09:30

This is how I spend my day,... looking at video images taken from trains.

Cool huh?

It's quite interesting actually. And a hell of a lot of work. But it's fun. I have to map all the signals and things that I come across. And then I get to go into the country side and check that everything is accurate. I've had my medical evaluation, and I need to do my track safety course, and then I will be free to go!

I now know what a whistleboard is. And a turnout. And I am becoming quite the trainspotter.

Someone should make a movie about me.

What is it?

2005-07-18T17:54:00.000+09:30

As I was laying in my bed this morning listening to Triple J, (I haven't found RRR yet), they had this thing where they were getting schoolkids to ring up and tell them what crappy thing they were having for their lunch, and what they wish they were having. And JJJ would act as the mediator to find out someone that would like to swap with them. And karma would prevail, and the world would be a nicer place in which to live, and all that. And a girl rang up.

"And what do you have for lunch?"

"Strasbourg and Philly* sandwiches." replied the girl.

"Strasbourg, what's that some kind of cheese?"

"No, ummm,... I think it's some sort of meat."

Okay, I think I can be of some help here.

About 5 years ago, I worked in a delicatessen in a supermarket on the Gold Coast. I worked in slave conditions, and through my time there, learned about the world of smallgoods, not to mention poor food handling practices.

Now, in Queensland, Strasbourg is known as Devon or Luncheon. And in South Australia, which is my homeland, it is known as fritz. Which as far as I'm called is what it should be called.

Fritz.

Repeat it with me.

Fritz.

No point giving it a fancy name like Strasbourg, or devon or luncheon. Anyway, a luncheon is a fancy name for lunch. And while you can have fritz for lunch. I don't think it would be had at a luncheon.

On account that it is fritz. Snouts and entrails rolled into a convenient processed package.

And I would like to clarify a few more issues.

A yiros as it is known in SA, is known as a kebab in QLD (incorrect I feel, as a kebab must involve a skewer). In Vic, it is commonly known as a felafel which is acceptable, or a souvlaki.

If anyone can clarify these important issues, leave a comment.

And don't get me started on the size of a pint of beer!

*Philly - Known colloquially as Philadelphia dip, a type of cheese spread or dipping sauce or something.

Sarah Blasko

2005-07-18T17:25:00.000+09:30

At Carly's insistence, I headed down to the Corner Hotel in Richmond to see Sarah Blasko. To be honest, it's not the sort of thing I would normally go to see (I was going to see The Sailors at Northcote RSL instead). But I know that Carly usually has good taste, so I thought why not. I'm always keen to try new things.

So I finally found a parking spot (I could have walked, but it was so freezing) and moseyed up to the door. The tickets were all sold out, and they had put a sign up on the wall. Apparently the next night as well.

As I was turning to leave towards a nice little Indian place I saw on the way there, a girl asked me if I needed a ticket. Two of her friends couldn't make it, so she gave me the ticket. It was so nice of her, that I gave her twenty dollars. All very legitimate of course. Just two people giving gifts. Move along, nothing to see here....

I made my way to the bar, and the pale ale was like $6.80, so I settled for a pot of Stella. It was undrinkable though, because the glasses hadn't been rinsed (as I have found in many pubs, and there was a film of detergent sudsing around on the surface of the beer). Tasty..

Lesson #1: Always buy bottled beer at the Corner.

I bought a Corona, and headed to the front of the stage.

78 Saab were playing, and I had heard of this band, but didn't know anything about them. I'm sorry Carly, I know that you like them, but I would have to put them up with Thirsty Merc and High Stakes as the worst bands I have ever seen. It's not that they were bad musicians or what ever, but they were just insipid. There weren't any catchy hooks or energy or anything (Kind of like this blog, ha!). Charlie the cowboy was funny though with his tambourine, and the keyboard that he never played, and I thought the singer reminded me of Paul Pfeiffer from the Wonder Years.

Lesson 2: Do not ever watch 78 Saab. Ever.

So anyway, Sarah Blasko came out, and she was pretty cute with all her spacemonkey dancing and Underground Lovers covers (rhymes). It was great the way all the members of the band swapped the instruments around, and the arrangements were all lush and dreamy. She writes some righteous tunes, and has that whole Bjork Tori Amos Portishead Frente! thing going. And I think she was a thousand times better than that annoying Missy Higgins. (I hope I haven't offended you too much faerie)

I was going to get you the mittens, but they had all sold out :( And I bet you already bought the Tshirt.

So I was worn out after that. I wanted to go to the Tote, but I didn't really feel up to it, so I found a Hungry Jacks! (There aren't many of them here in Melbourne, mainly KFC and red rooster) and curled up in my little bed.

Oh, and now that I have a job, I'm getting a new bed from this little futon place down the street. It's japanese style, and very nice and only $300, not including the mattress, but still!

Lunchtime at the top of the world

2005-07-18T17:20:00.000+09:30

So I was sitting in the Courtyard cafe on Brunswick St on Saturday morning enjoying a big breakfast and coffee, and reflecting on the past couple of weeks when I noticed this print on the wall. I thought it summed things up about how I am feeling at the moment. Plus, it's a rather cool picture as well. I get vertigo just from looking at it.

Thumbs in the braces, and strut

2005-07-13T18:37:00.000+09:30

Allow me to introduce myself,...

I am Adrian, your friendly neighborhood mapping analyst for Groove Terminator laboratories.

I didn't tell you yesterday about my planned interview for this morning. I didn't want to jinx myself. I applied yesterday, and within two hours, they had rung for an interview.

Note: this is a different company than the one I had been bitching about yestertag.

So, I moseyed in at 8.30 with my lucky polka dot tie, and was greeted at the door by David. He is a cool guy. We had instant repoire, and he took me upstairs past the concierge and through the security doors. The first thing he did was make a coffee. I also had one, and from the moment I arrived, I felt at home. We had a brief chat about my work history as a forest technician, a dance insructor and university days, before he announced:

"Well Adrian, I'm more than happy to give you this job right now"

To which I countered:

"Well, I'm more than happy for you to do that too."

And so it began.

"Now we have a project in Perth at the moment. Would you be happy for me to fly you out there tomorrow?"

Ummm, let me think about this for a sec. I think so, but it's a long flight. I'll have to rest my arms for a while. heeheeheehehehehehehhhheeeee (Yes, I managed to slip in my favourite line)

I don't think I will actually be assigned to that project just yet, as I have been given something else to do in the meantime, but it's still nice to be offered.
Now let me see... $20 an hour for a 40 hour week. That's got to be at least $100 a week, doesn't it??

And within 15 minutes of the interview, I had the job, just... We need someone, you obviously have what it takes, here's the job.

No second interview shit, no "What can you bring to this company?" Dude, you've got my resume right there. If I have to tell you that, someone's not paying attention.

Oh, and they have a regulation size fussball table (you know like foos ball).

Enable bouncing off the walls.

Enable dancing on the ceiling.

Enable the walk of sunshine.

All systems go at Groove Terminator labs.

And if I should happen to recieve a phone call from a certain other place, which I'm sure would go something like:

"Yeah, um... hi, we've got the lightbulb in from Germany, and we were wondering if you could come in and fit it for us, because we want to screw you like a pig in a barnyard"

"Sorry bums, find some other pigeon for your lowly paid monkey job, I've been snapped up like a tasty piece of butterfish. Up yours."

CLICK

And if you happen to live in country Victoria, and you are waiting at the boomgates for the train to pass, and you see some dude drive along the train-tracks in a modified Toyota Landcruiser with a camera in one hand and a GPS in the other, take the time to wind down your window and wave to me as I travel off on another adventure bringing your realworld environment to a more convenient electronic form.

Oh baby.

Now, I'm off to the local pub for a tasty meal.............

It all comes down to 3 things

2005-07-12T19:05:00.000+09:30

Well for those of you who are interested, I kind of got the job.

So why aren't I doing backflips and bouncing off the walls?

Well to start with, it wasn't the job I applied for, but they needed someone to run errands and work the machine. Hey, it's a foot in the door of my chosen career, right?

I went in for my trial on Monday. I was meant to use this machine with pedals and hand controls and such, when it became apparent that something was amiss. One of the floating cross-hairs was not working. The culprit was a little lightglobe about the size of a fingernail. When it lights up, it is meant to project a dot through the eye piece of this whizzbang German contraption. And, well... it didn't.

So they apologised, saying how this just never happens, and that I should give them a call in a few days when they have the problem sorted out.

Days pass...

I give them a ring to find out what's going on, and they say they don't know, and they'll call me tomorrow.

So, it's tomorrow already, and no phone call.

This means three things:

(1) I still don't know if I have the job, but it is likely that I will be able to use the machine.

(2) Even if I get the job, I'm not sure I want it, considering that they have proven themselves to be totally unprofessional, and, pardon me, a bunch of cunts.

(3) I'm getting a little concerned, as I am already $500 over my credit card limit. The rent is due on Friday and I'm going to be about $100 short. Not to mention that little matter of car repayments which I am about a month behind. Oh, and then there's that little matter of food.... plus I really could use a haircut.

Two words

2005-07-10T14:23:00.000+09:30

GAZOONGA ATTACK

No pets please

2005-07-10T14:21:00.000+09:30

So one of my flatmates is moving out, and we need one to move in. Any takers?

End of an era

2005-07-01T23:58:00.000+09:30

My Oma died on Wednesday night in her sleep.

She was 85.

I was shocked to hear of her death, but not surprised. I mean she was old, but she was very stubborn. I think she just gave up.

After ringing some of her friends to tell them the bad news, they told me that she had already phoned them days before to say goodbye.

"But Poek, where are you going?", "I thought she meant she was going on a trip..."
and
"She told me she only had a week to go."

She was physically incapacitated, but her mind was still sharp, and she couldn't stop thinking about things. She had a lot of time on her hands, and it drove her to despair.

The last time I spoke to my Oma, in February, we were talking about my father. She hadn't seen him since 1985. And she confessed how much she wanted to see him before she died. And I could see it in her eyes that it caused her a lot of heartache to know that her only son wouldn't acknowledge her. It affected her deeply.
I wanted to make that happen for her, but I haven't seen my dad for almost the same time, and I knew that there was nothing that I could do to change the situation.

She told me to write to her, and I never got around to it. And I feel a bit guilty.

When I rang my Grampa (on my mum's side), he didn't sound well, coughing and hacking into the mouthpiece.

I have since found out that he has gone into hospital with advanced asbestosis.

My mum says that he has just had the realization that things are going to get progressively worse, and last night, he had the feeling that he was drowning, and asked the doctor to give him a massive dose of sleeping pills. To get it over with.

I am just about to go and visit my Grampa, and I don't know if I'll see him again. I don't know what to do or how to act, and this is a lot to handle right about now.

Arrival

2005-07-01T23:12:00.000+09:30

It's 11:18pm, local Adelaide time, and I have just completed my seven-and-something hour drive across the border.

My arse is numb. My brain is numb.

Well, a few things have happened over the past few days, so I guess I'll just start at the beginning:

I rang to see if I got the job.

"I'm afraid that we've decided to give the position to someone else..."

I winced.

"But..."

That sounded like a promising but.

"Big boss daddyman# was very impressed with your retail history, and there is a position available in the shopfront, of course, you won't use your brain very much# , and you will probably be paid fuck all# but at least you will have a foot in the company door, and you can be moved about when you gain experience."

# slight embellishment.

"So, how about you come in on Monday at about 1pm, and we spend a half a day to show you what the position entails?"

So I don't know if I have the job, or if they still need to decide. I just will go in there at said time, and we will see.

Well, that's a start I guess. And I do need $$$.

While I was on the phone, my mobile was buzzing away to tell me that my Aunt was trying to call.

I rang her back when I got off the phone with my prospective employer.

And as I gushed with unbridled enthusiasm about my newfound semi-employment, I could tell that something was not right.

See post above.

The Sunny Side of the Street

2005-06-29T15:34:00.000+09:30

They've moved the dole
office
From around the
corner
In Johnston St,
To Victoria St
Abbotsford

And I walked
around
there

(I always like
to walk
on the sunny
side of
the street)

I saw an Aboriginal
man
waiting at the
intersection
with his dog
washing windows
of motorists
at the red.

I was
asked
for money on four
occasions

A fat man
with a bag

A woman
with blackened
teeth
or
no
teeth
at all

Standing in
line, while
a man yelled

"Well, I've
been fucked
again
by the fucken
Richmond
branch"

and scowled
around the room
as
Public Servants
asked him
to
leave

And
by a man.
"I just need
some money
to buy some
alcohol"

Walking home,
the setting
sun
yellowed
the
walls

The trees
etched
leaflessly.

It's cold
in the
shadows
on the
other side
of the
road.

Twenty-one years of priapism

2005-06-29T15:32:00.000+09:30

The Hard-ons are playing the Espy Thursday night. They rock like any band before or since, and you can have your Jet and your fucking Thirsty Merc. It's just a shame they don't do their fire-eating tricks anymore, since that unfortunate incident...

I believe the old drummer/singer Keish will be playing a few of the older songs too!

I saw them for the first time at their 10 years of rock farewell show at the Synagogue (now Church in Adelaide for all you young'uns). I've met about twenty people who claim to be the person who jumped from the balcony and latched onto the giant disco ball suspended from the atrium. And brought it tumbling down into the crowd. Funny I never met any of the people who were hit by it. But I do remember the two beautiful girls that I was standing behind. And I would stand there and they would back their asses into my crotch and press their fragrant hair into my face.

I was 16. And that sort of thing just doesn't happen anymore. Thankyou John Howard...

The band were smokin it up. And I remember we had to catch the last train home, so we had to leave early. Two of my mates drunkenly insisted on rolling down the ramp of the train station, ensuring that we missed the train and had to get a taxi.

I saw them four or five times since then. Once at a New Years Eve concert in Brisbane. I drove a cheap rental car from the Gold Coast, and on the way home the radiator overheated.

It's gonna be one farkin awesome rockfest. Not only that, but they are playing in Adelaide on Saturday night, and I will hopefully be seeing them there too!

Now, if I could only make it to Loxton on the Sunday night...